Dr Hasmukh Adhia: Tips on anger management

Last week, we saw the genesis of how anger comes to us and results in a lot of negative consequences. Let us now see some practical tips on how to control our anger in the yogic way.

First of all, we must simplify or unclutter our life. Simplifying life means consciously avoiding certain activities in life by understanding the futility of such unnecessary engagements in life. Just see how we get led away by invitations to so many activities and meetings unrelated to our main work, just because it boosts up our false ego.  Simplifying life also includes minimising time spent on reading newspapers and watching TV or on virtual social networking. When the day is full of activities, it leaves no time for any relaxation or sitting quietly and so anger is bound to hit us. 

Never miss your daily morning routine. It is even more important not to miss your daily morning routine when the day is going to be very busy. Getting up an hour early may give you extra time for yourself - for following the morning daily routine of exercise, yogasana, pranayam, morning walk, etc. This would keep you going throughout the day and you would be more poised to deal with people without being angry.

Secondly, one must spare at least 20 minutes daily to sit in meditation or relaxation. Just sit and relax. No news paper, no mobile, no computer. Listen to the chirpings of birds or sound of rain drops. Be aware of your thoughts without trying to control it.

Try to minimise your thoughts during this period. This is the best practice to develop awareness or mindfulness. Anger is an instinctive reaction which indicates lack of mindfulness. The more mindful you are, lesser are the chances of losing your control. In fact, the yoga itself is a process of developing awareness.

Thirdly, even if you have no time to learn and do all the yoga practices such as asana, pranayam and meditation, one must at least do pranayam every day, since it is very easy to learn and repeat. One can do this during intervening breaks even in office also. It is a good idea to walk away from your office chair after every one hour, sit in another quiet corner of your office and do few rounds of anulam vilam pranayam. This practice will refresh you and you would also be able to retain your mindfulness.

Lastly, what is most important is to change our attitude to people in life. Also, our expectations from people around have to be reasonable. We try to control people and situation around us, which boomerangs on us. We become angry when subordinates do not obey us or children flout our advice. We get worried about children's future and try to control their lives. Our anxiety or worry can easily destroy positivity and creativity of a child.

This worry can be made lighter by thinking that every child is born with a mission in this world. It is the divine who plays a greater role in shaping him/ her up. We can do parenting duty, but not micro-monitoring of their lives. If the later happens, we may meet exactly the reverse consequences in which children may either become too submissive or rebel. Why lose peace of mind by showing anger then?

— The author is an IAS officer of Gujarat cadre