Accepting the ageing process is important

Kersi Chavda, psychiatrist and immediate past president, Bombay Psychiatric Society, offers some helpful advice for senior citizens and their families.

I’ve been working at the same company for the past 40 years and always enjoyed the respect and affection of my colleagues. However, lately I’ve been feeling that they don’t respect me anymore. The younger employees contradict me and are impatient with my lack of technological knowledge. What should I do?
A certain amount of acceptance of the reality of aging is important. It is a fact that you will now be slower and it will be an issue for you to keep up with the times. Another fact is that with old age, sensitivity to imagined slights increases. You might be misinterpreting the bluntness of a younger person. Maybe it is just your perception or self doubt. However, you should diplomatically verbalise the problems you face with the person it is coming from. This should lead to a resolution.

I have always enjoyed driving, but lately my kids are trying to stop me from driving because they think that at 74, I am too old to drive. I do have some eyesight problems, but with my glasses, I can manage just fine. But, they continue to restrict me, saying it’s ‘for my own good’. What do I do?
This needs to be looked at from both perspectives. If you genuinely have a medical problem, the question of how you feel about it does not arise. If safety is an issue, you cannot drive. However, it is possible that your family is being paranoid and overprotective. Go to a doctor and get a thorough physical and neurological examination. Talk to your kids and tell them that a doctor is a higher authority.

My grandfather was an extremely talkative and lively man till he suffered a massive stroke because of which he cannot speak coherently anymore. He cannot communicate with his family or his old friends. His frustration is tragic, and I want to know what I can do to ease his depression. 
I do not know how much a grandchild can help in this situation. You should be allowed access to your grandfather even if you both cannot communicate in a conventional manner. It is very important in the case of a stroke to not forget about the mental repercussions. Medicines can help him with his depression. You should try to engage with him through non-verbal communication and give him the company he probably craves.

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