Relationship queries

I wanted you to share some clinical experience of yours for children, whose parents are going through a divorce. How can parents handle this  better?
Sushma Patel
Divorce is a stressful time for the entire family, full of changes for everyone involved. One of the greatest concerns for parents is how divorce will affect their children. Parents need to know that, in many ways divorce can injure their children but if handled maturely can soften and cushion these negative effects. Some feel their children are too young to comprehend divorce, as a result they don’t speak with them about an impending divorce, which can be harmful at later stages. Under the best of circumstances, separation and divorce can be painful and disappointing for many children. Children who go through their parents divorce also fear losing other secure relationships — friends, pets, siblings, neighbours,and so on. Sometimes moving into new surroundings can cause a negative reaction.

What parents can do?
Be a good listener and an approachable parent. Open communication is a very important way for you to help your child through difficult times. Being able to share his fears, worries, and feelings with you can make your child feel safe and special

Don’t go overboard with your children, discipline them when needed, and follow consistent rules at both ends.
Children experience a sense of loss of family and may blame you or the other parent — or both. Be prepared to answer questions your child may raise.

Behavioural complaints such as stomachache, headache, fatigue
Signs of  depression such as a withdrawal from long-time friends and favourite activities, fears about the future, and feelings of rejection can be a possibility. Approach a psychologist if needed. At times, we are not always in the best position to handle situations, and getting professional help at the right time can help.