The Weak Week, writes Sajid Khan

The last seven days have been rather dull... boring in terms of excitement, happenings and news. It’s safe to say it was a weak week. Aisa kya hua iss week mein jo week weak ho gaya?

Messi matters

Firstly, Messi messed it up. One of the biggest sportsmen in the world, whenever sponsors used to sign cheques for him, amount itna bada hota tha, ki pen ulti karta tha (sic). And now Messi wants to retire because of a missed penalty? When one reads about this incident, methinks, ‘Haan, zaroor daal mein kuch kaala hai’, but it would be a different story, agar Messi ne ball andar daala hota.

Bheed ki baat

At Bandstand, Bandra there’s a bigger crowd outside SRK and Salman’s house than there is on the whole of Bandstand. But sometimes, the crowd outside Salman’s house also gathers for reasons other than tourist sight-seeing. Now we all know the controversy that was stirred up and became the topic of discussion everywhere, thanks to Salman. 
What I fail to understand is, one particular news channel, which a few weeks ago defended Tanmay Bhat’s video saying that it is ‘freedom of speech’ and it is every person’s right to say what he or she wants to say in a democratic country, was the same channel which condemned Salman saying ‘freedom of speech’ doesn’t mean you can say anything you want to say. Don’t think I am taking sides. I am on your side. My question to you is… whose side are you on?

Ki farak painda?

This week also saw Bournvita ka chhota bhai ‘Brexit’ (that’s what it sounds like, actually). Subah ke naashte mein ek cup Brexit pee lijiye. So England has decided not to be with EU. To bhaiya humein ki farak painda hai? Following England’s exit was PM David Cameron. He too is exiting. Toh? Humein ki farak painda hai? I feel in a way if England exited EU, it’s their choice.

And so...

Toh, overall, this week was quite boring and weak. It would have been a different week altogether had Messi not messed it up, had there been a permanent board outside Salman’s house which said ‘Sorry’, for past, present and future. Aur raha sawaal England ka, when lots of migrants from the countries of the EU used to enter England, the English immigration officers used to say ‘eeeeuuuuuu’.

PS: My brother-in-law Shirish’s acclaimed short Kriti crossed 2.5 million views on YouTube. Two-point-five plus-one to be exact. The plus-one was the Nepali filmmaker who claimed Kriti (scripted in 2015) was inspired by his short (released in 2016)... do the math.