I am living the male fantasy: Emraan Hashmi

Emraan Hashmi would come off as arrogant to most people. There is a lot of arrogance there, but it’s not an aftereffect of stardom, not that he cares how you interpret it. He is defiant, dead against chamchagiri and indifferent about everything but his career. He does what he wants to, always has. From his professional choices (doing heroine-oriented films, wooing the classes after winning over the masses, turning down a KJo film!) to his personal life (not attending film parties, not befriending his colleagues, and not bowing to people who matter).

It’s not a facade or a carefully cultivated image. It is all him. He has always been that guy. Even when he was an assistant director on his uncle Mahesh Bhatt’s set to now being the leading man in big banner, big budget films. His attitude doesn’t change according to the amount on the pay cheque, or the stature of the person in front of him. He is real, unapologetic and that’s refreshing. Here Emraan talks about what he hates most about acting, why he leads a double life and why he doesn’t watch Hindi films. Read on...

Are you content with your success?
Never, one can’t ever be content. If there’s no higher place to get to, then you...(trails off). I am very ambitious. But I don’t show it. I might even come across as someone who is mildly disinterested.

It’s part of my personality. But my career graph is very important to me. It wasn’t always the case.

There was a turning point three-four years ago when it struck me what if I don’t succeed at this. It scared me. I had gone too deep into this profession to turn back and do something else, so I decided to give it everything. It’s the fear of not doing anything that drives me.

Was acting by accident or design?
An accident completely. I was very reluctant to get into acting. I still am, most of the times. I never really thought of myself as an actor. Before I got into films, I was sure that I didn’t ever want to face the camera. I was nudged, even pushed into it. I was 20, assisting Bhatt saab. I was probably the only assistant who didn’t work on the set. I used to come just to chill. Probably it was the disinterest that Bhatt saab noticed.

I was one of those assistants who would refuse to go and call the actor from the make-up van. Basically, I was arrogant. I think Bhatt saab saw that and liked the fact that I was not in awe of anything or any actor on the set. That probably triggered something in him. He must have thought, ‘He isn’t hardworking, so maybe he should become an actor.’ (laughs). He felt that I can’t work hard, so I can’t be a director so it’s best to offer me an acting role. He said to me, ‘Why don’t you give it a shot?’.

And you agreed?
No, I was very confused. I was just biding my time. I didn’t know where I was headed. I actually wanted to get into computer graphics but  there weren’t many institutes at the time...Thankfully I had Bhatt saab and he said, ‘Why don’t you act and we will make you a star in our films’ and I said no. And he asked again and I said no again... this went on for six months and then I said yes. My family said that Bhatt saab had gone mad, they asked him ‘why are you launching this guy’. He thought I could do it,  I was sure I couldn’t. Then Footpath happened..

Why the reluctance?
I don’t understand Bollywood. I have not grown up watching Hindi films so I didn’t know the world. I didn’t even speak Hindi very well. I mean yes, I could talk but I wasn’t very good at it. And acting... I think you need to have that in you.

So there was no formal acting training..
No. After I decided to act, I trained. It was more like a preliminary thing. I thought this training would go on for a good six months. I trained for 1.5 months and I couldn’t do it anymore. Then I did a photo shoot with the actress of the film and I just froze because it was just a lot to take in. When you are not used to that, it can be pretty overwhelming.

But you have acted in as many as 15 ads when you were a kid...
That’s true but when you are a kid, it is fairly easy. Because there was no baggage. I don’t know... Kids are kind of egocentric so they don’t really know they are being judged and watched. It is easier as a kid...but after you are nine or 10, you start getting conscious of people’s gaze. I think that was one of the things that was scary to me.

You are more popular in some centres than A-list stars. How do you manage that?
I have kind of built it over the last 10 years... going to these small centres, interiors and promoting my films...and the aspirational character that I play also helped as people look up to them. I am living the male fantasy that every Indian man wants. Where everything is so easy...

Are you doing that in real life as well?
Well it depends on which Indian male you are talking about... if it is the guy who wants a happily married life, then yes. My son was born three years back,  and fatherhood is great…this is what I wanted. I planned my life this way...

So different from the guy you play on screen...
(Wryly) Yeah completely different. I don’t go around smooching women in real life.

Or maybe you just haven’t got caught...
Hahaha... yes, Maybe I am too discreet and haven’t been caught doing that but I am leading the life I love. I won’t have it any other way.  I met my wife in college and I knew that I would settle down at 26-27, have a kid...

You have made your image work for you.
I like to do it convincingly.  I think people also connected to the fact that I was seen as something that was fresh… I don’t believe in theatrical over-the-top performances (that other actors do) and that become somewhat synonymous with me.

But those are the kind of films that are working now…
A lot of actors are doing that and I have never understood that. I have just kept it real and by doing that I think it is more identifiable or relateable.

You never go to film parties. Why?
I went for the success party once. For the success party of Once Upon A Time In Mumbaai. It’s not that I am a recluse… It has more to do with the industry. I generally don’t enjoy film parties. I don’t understand them. I never have.  I kind of attended a couple very early in my career and I realised it is not my place or my scene. You should do things you enjoy doing. Yes, if a director or a producer wants me to come on the set at 6 in the morning, I will be there. But not if they want me to come for an evening out.  I have never been part of that culture.

Every actor does it. Networking is important, no?
Why should I? I am doing otherwise, and it is working for me. If it wasn’t, I would. I believe one must do everything to help yourself professionally. Socialising is not part of my profession. I have got here without doing it. Standing around at someone’s party doesn’t add up.

You have also not made any friends in the industry
(Thinks) No, I haven’t, but I have great working relationships with everyone. But no one who I  hang out with after work. I have my own set of friends who have nothing to do with the film industry. It is almost a duality... that’s something I have realised about myself. I never wanted to be an actor, and somewhere that part of me is still very alive. There’s one side that goes on a film set because it is my profession, but for my sake, I  need to  be completely detached from that world after pack-up. That is why when I leave a film set, when it is 9 o’clock, it’s a different life.

You find yourself becoming a different person when you are in a crowd?
Yeah, I think you have to do that. I have seen actors who  completely wear a mask when they are on set or conducting themselves as an actor, and it makes me very uncomfortable.  And I feel sad for them because I think somewhere they lose themselves. Actually, I am the best of the lot. I am more comfortable with myself. I don’t constantly have an identity crisis. There is no loop playing in my head that goes: ‘I am an actor, I am a star…I have to behave in a certain way.’ But yes, sometimes you have your guard up when you are around people who see you as something else.

You keep a part of yourself hidden. Including your wife. Comment.
I am not completely accessible at times because I like to keep it that way. I like to cherish certain personal space... private life, and my wife also holds on to that. She says that if she gets clicked in ten places, it will become a problem for her to go down for a walk by herself. She  values that and I respect that. I wouldn’t want to drag her to a function. She loves not getting recognised, because once that happens, life changes in a huge way, She is a very private person. She still cherishes walking down the road to walk, or shop. If she goes with me everywhere and gets clicked everywhere, then she will lose that.

Have you ever been embarrassed because of your serial kisser image?
(Emphatically) No, no, no… why would I be embarrassed? You know, if it was something that would embarrass me, I wouldn’t do it in the first place.

But don’t you feel like saying: there’s more to me..
But there is more. I don’t have to keep shouting that from rooftops. People are realising that. But there is a certain image that has been created and I have to cater to my audience. Also, it is easier to do that. That’s how brands are. Whether you like it or not. An image sticks. One thing becomes synonymous with what you do. And then you highlight the other facets with your choice of different films and performances. But that will always be that... It becomes your strongest point.

It’s great that you embrace that.
I think actors would, right? There are stereotypes that you abide by. Because the audience sees that as a very impactful thing on screen. And you need to give them that. When you move away from those patterns then people don’t identify with you.

You find it easier to play a rake or a romeo?
I find it easier to play a rake. I don’t think I have played a romantic guy though… all my characters have been bad guys... I have never played a lover boy. I have that image. My characters have an edge and an intensity to them. Lover-boy characters, I would say would be the kind that Hugh Grant plays... I don’t know who does that in Hindi films. The roles I play, I am the home breaker, I am the guy that wives run away with... I have played that character time and again.

Which character is a favourite?
There are a couple. It would be a draw between Jannat, OUATIM, Shanghai and a bit of The Dirty Picture. And I think now Ghanchakkar. It’s the kind of humour that I always wanted to do in a film. I don’t like our comedy films. They are so laboured and so slapstick. There is this film that I saw seven-eight years back...(I won’t tell you which one) in a theatre and everyone was laughing and I was like: ‘F**k, I am in the wrong place. I  had just started acting at the time and I remember thinking, ‘I can never do a comedy film here because the humour is not making me laugh.’ And the actors were trying so hard… I stopped watching films after that.

You don’t watch films?
Hindi films? No, not really. I have not seen so many of my films… like Ek Thi Daayan (ETD) recently.

What was the last film you saw?
The last film i saw in the hall was Chak De! India.

OMG! That was a long time ago!
See, there’s a reason… I have always seen myself as an outsider. Because I don’t connect with most of the things that everyone else does here.

You don’t even see films to check out competition?
I don’t see them as competition. I am not threatened by anyone. I really am not. I just find that every film that I do, I want to excel. I keep my films as a benchmark. I don’t see other actors as being that.

Every actor is on the phone every Friday, trying to find out collections.
Oh, I would do that, I always know what other people’s collections are... because for me it is very important to know what the terrain is, not so much how the actor is doing, but in the space of the genre.What exactly has made some film work. I won’t know because I have not seen the film, but I will ask people. And that helps me because I get a sense of what the audience is liking.

Whose opinion would matter?
I talk to a lot of people… from the trade, the distributors, directors, producers, I probably just call up someone like Ekta (Kapoor) and find out why she feels a film has worked. It  gives me a new perspective and  helps me decide on future projects.

You are adored by the masses, but now with your last two films (Shanghai , Ek Thi Daayan) it looks like you are trying to woo the classes?
Yes. It is a conscious decision. To me, it is box office that matters. I know that people are saying that the line is blurring between multiplex films and single screen films but...

Most actors are wooing the masses now and you are wooing the classes!
It is not a complete shift.  What I am trying to do is get a larger chunk of audience. I am just trying to cater to every person out there. Because everyone has different taste and flavour for cinema. But I am very clear that I will never let go of my mass single screen audience. I think they are more dependable than the classes. I consider myself, even the kind of films I see, as a class audience.

I like to go to the multiplex and see an English film and sometimes Hindi films that don’t cater to the mass audience... But I haven’t done that in the longest time. I think that somewhere I wanted to cater to people like me... the audience that enjoys the same kind of films I do.

But you run the risk of losing your core audience because they won’t go in to see films like that?
Yes, I run the risk of alienating them. You always have that risk of losing one section when you are reaching out to the other. You win some, you lose some, but it all adds up in some way that I cannot explain right now. It will make sense in three-four years.

Try explaining?
Ok, what happened is Shanghai opened up at Rs 3-3.5 crore at the box office and Ek Thi Daayan opened at Rs 6-6.5 crore and there is a clear jump in one year... double the audience. Although the masses were somewhere neglected in this new scheme of things. With ETD,  we were very clear that we were making a class, experimental horror film.

I took a huge pay cut for it because I could not burden a film with a huge making cost. I know that for a quintessential Emraan Hashmi film, I can charge a certain amount and the film will be able to take that load because the masses are going to come to see it. But when I do other films, I hope that somewhere down the line, it will all add up and then there is a film that gets both kinds of audiences.

So it’s all about the audience?
No. Somewhere you begin to think about: What next? You tell yourself that you are doing this and it is working, now let’s try something different. And in the process,  grow as an actor also. I didn’t see any growth the way I was going. Then in every film, you have to put in cliches…People like to see me  playing certain kinds of characters, and of course an Emraan Hashmi film can’t do without a kissing scene.

Aren’t you kind of tried of kissing on screen?
(Sneers) Gawd yes, it’s a tough job...

Oh shuddup.
Then Dibakar came along and I had to completely reconstruct myself and go through a bunch of vigorous acting workshops to get into the skin of the character and it really helped me to grow as an actor.

You are one of those actors who has never shied away from doing a heroine-oriented film.
Yes, because these are things that I constantly rebel against. Someone told me that most actors don’t do such films. So I did it. Because I am like: Why not? I am against herd mentality. Why should I do what everyone else is doing? Everyone has blinders on. I found TDP subject great and I felt that I should be part of the film, because I love my character, the story and I thought this film will be successful and it will be a cult film. And eventually it was. Why can’t I be a part of that? Indian actors are very insecure. They keep saying they are secure and confident but it doesn’t reflect in their choice of films. I don’t mind supporting someone who has an author-backed role.

Actually, I don’t even see it as that. I think everyone kind of gets their due and yes, you have the protagonist... and a huge reason for TDP working is Vidya’s performance. But I think everyone added in their own way. The reason I do films like this is because I believe that films are about team work. I don’t see it as a singular thing.

Actors who are narcissistic and who feel films work only because of them, will never do a female-oriented film because for them it is all about the footage, their dialogues, and the number of scenes. It is always about themselves. But I put the story above me. I am always secondary. It  happens in the west, but actors here don’t do it. I believe that either you are an actor or you are a star. I like to be a bit of both. An actor will see a script and see how he can adapt himself to what is on paper. A star will see a script and change everything around to suit him.

Which of your contemporaries do you admire?
I can’t name anyone. I have not seen any of their films. I swear.

You don’t want to see a film even when it’s got high praise like a Rockstar or Barfi!?
I would want to. But I don’t see Hindi films... I would probably see it for Anurag (Basu, director of Barfi!) is a friend. Unfortunately I didn’t. But I remember seeing Metro. And that was before Chak De! India. I think it was probably around the time I stopped watching Hindi films. 

You don’t even see all your films. Don’t you  want to see how your film has shaped up?
No... The director is happy, I am happy.  My responsibility is done once the director says okay. and I get the feedback on Friday on what  is working.

Would you consult your wife on a script?
No. Because she will say no to all of them.

Why is that?
For obvious reasons.

The kissing and intimate scenes?
Obviously...

But she knows you will do them anyway, right?
Yes, but we don’t talk about them.

So she doesn’t watch your films?
She does. And she is very critical... just like me. I am very critical of my own work. I see it like the audience. I  rip my own films apart. She, my friends, family... all are very critical.

When in need for advice, who would you talk to?
I talk to a lot of people, but eventually the decision is mine. Because I know that everyone has their own way of thinking but I am the guy who has to spend 100 days doing that film. So they are not seeing it the way I am, or calculating things in totality like I am. So I would ask someone what they think about the subject, that would be to get an audience’s perspective. Not what I should do with my career or what films to do.

Because that would be the opinion of one person in a room. And you don’t know how a million people will react to a film.  My wife would probably say no to all my films, because she again is not a mass audience. But I am not making films for her, I am making them for my audience... and each film has a definite audience.

Which of your films is her favourite?
The ones I didn’t kiss in! Once Upon A Time In Mumbaai and Shanghai. She likes those kind of films.

You blasted Mahesh Bhatt for saying your ‘class films’ didn’t get you success?
How do you know that? It wasn’t like that. That’s how we talk to each other. We tell each other things.

But he was right in what he said, no?
No, I don’t agree. It is very selective to see things like that. Everyone wants to look at things in a certain way... If I want to pull down a film, I can pull down a Rs 100-crore film. Right now, I can give you 10 reasons why they are bad and why my films are better than them. You want a reason? Okay, let me tell you that a film that makes Rs 100 crore is made on a budget of Rs 80 crore. My films are made on Rs 15 crore budget and they make Rs 80 crore. So it’s just the way you look at things.

But they will say, ‘Oh, my film made Rs 100 crore; and you see only one side of the story. We made an experimental film like ETD which was made for a certain audience. I took a pay cut, we made the film on a restrained budget... but it solves the purpose. Otherwise the film wouldn’t have been made. You can’t pitch that film to the masses. So you have a mass actor pitching the film to a fresh audience, there would be a chance that the film wouldn’t open well at all. I think, ETD is a great opening for someone who is entering in a new terrain.

Rate yourself as an actor.
Average. Maybe a 5 on 10. I have a long way to go.

How much of your success do you attribute to luck?
6-6.5 on a scale of 1 to 10.

Ekta thinks you are lucky. Comment
I think she is lucky for me. We have a great relationship. I think what works more then luck for both of us is the passion for same kind of films, matching sensibilities as far as films go and I think that works. And I also believe in her integrity in terms that she gives her film everything. I get very uncomfortable with people who take their work lightly.

I have started sensing it over the years...People who are just out to make proposals. And I don’t do films with them. I realised that Ekta had a certain obsession for films, with which you know, you can’t go wrong. Because when you are obsessive about something, you are constantly thinking about it. And you are bound to succeed at it. It’s not just money for her. Yes, that is a very important part, but she also has a certain passion which sometimes actors need to feed off.  

When was the last time you felt insecure..
I have moments of insecurity, but I can’t remember when I last felt insecure. From time to time, there are insecurities about a lot of things. The insecurites of your film bombing at the box office.

Probably last insecurity was on release Friday, but I know how to reign it in. My attitude is very simple. Which is why sometimes I don’t watch my films. Once I am done, I disconnect. It’s not my film anymore. It is the audiences’ film. I never get swayed by either success or failure. I don’t like to party after a film is a success. I actually get very dissatisfied on the Saturday and Sunday after release. I crash... because the feeling of what next creeps in.

I tell myself I shouldn’t get too happy about this because I start thinking about the next film. I am not content. With failure, because you put in so much work, it is bound to make you feel like shit when the audience rejects it on Friday. But for your own survival, you need to have a more optimistic approach. I know people who shut themselves out. I make a joke about it. I find it extremely... you know, I find humour in failure also

One part of your job you hate?
I hate waiting around. I also hate disorganised environment. I lack patience when things don’t start on time.