Of IPL and a broken marriage

My good friend Parag Kapadia’s marriage is crumbling. Embarrassed and mortified of the public scrutiny and unexpected attention, he’s asked me to keep it under my hat. So please, dear reader, let’s not spread this around for Parag’s sake.

Parag a simple man, except for his eccentric act of wearing a towel with a garland of flowers round his neck when he greets guests at home, really deserves better. As a good friend I decided to mind my own business, and thereby unravel the root cause, the source, the exact reason as to why this is a marriage on its way down.

Let us start by not using his actual name; let’s call him instead Parag S Kapadia. Having thus hidden his identity it’s time to examine why things aren’t working out.

My first suspect was infidelity. However, Parag S has never been really taken in by the ladies. In fact till the age of 31 (the age at which his first child was born) he remained a suspect, or in cricketing parlance was said to have a suspect action, if you know what I mean. Sex to him, was just a classification of gender. In fact his wife used to joke that the only three letter word Parag S liked was ‘TV on’.

Ruling out a significant other I moved on to the next great divider — the cause of 63 per cent of marriages breaking down in the UPA government and 46 per cent in the older NDA one. Once again Parag S came out on top. Here’s a man who brushes his teeth more than twice a week, using oil in his hair, and bathes, if not everyday, rather frequently. Besides no proof, circumstantial or otherwise, exists of digging, scratching or peeing in public.

The two most common causes clearly don’t apply; so what does? The answer is one word, or wait is it three words? I think we should settle for three words disguised as one — IPL.

The IPL is over and with it Parag’s marriage. For 35 days Parag S allowed his wife a free hand, just as long as he got his daily dose of cricket. Suddenly like a death in the family the couple is left staring at each other every evening with nothing to do. Poor Parag S Kapadia. The IPL may be good for cricket but it’s certainly not doing anything for marital bliss.