Rainbow guru: Do you think I can cruise the gay scene for action?

I have a gay roommate and he has a better sex life than me. There’s a new man in his room almost every other day, and frankly, it’s giving me a bit of a complex as a straight, good-looking Punjabi boy. The LGBT community seems to be more open to sex. It’s really making me think hetero sex is more complicated. Do you think I can cruise the gay scene for action? I mean, if I’m the top, how much difference does it really make?
– Mr Cheap Thrills

Dear Mr Cheap Thrills,

Let’s set a few things, well, straight. You may think gay men are easy, however, even they strike up a conversation before engaging in coitus. I’m sure you can find a woman who is on the same page as you on Tinder. All you have to do is mention your preference explicitly in your bio.

I’ve come across quite a few straight guys who think gay cruising is easy because they’re tops, but most of them chicken out when it comes to the deed. They expect pleasure without returning the favour. Having sex with a man is so much more than that. There’s passion involved too. Are you ready to commit? Probably not. Jumping boats isn’t as easy as jumping a traffic signal. Maybe if you’re patient enough, you’ll hit the sex jackpot. Till then, there’s always self-gratification.