56% will stay even if slapped, abused

On November 14, a girl was hammered to death with a cement slab by a young man she allegedly knew. DNA spoke to people across the city about being in abusive relationships. Here are some interesting findings...

Someone in my neighbourhood had acid thrown on the girl who spurned him. I was shocked to hear people call it ‘true love’.  Security is the main reason why people stay in such relationships. They feel that their partner really loves them and hits them in the heat of the moment. I guess it is all about low  self-esteem. — Anuradha M/Juhu

I am from Kerala where wife- beating is common. It’s all about ego. I know of cases where the girl beats up her boyfriend.  Education can make criminals smarter. By confessing, Pratik is looking for symapthy. He will be proved to be mentally imbalanced and will be shifted to a rehab centre. A couple of years of rehab and he is free. — Adityan K/Bandra

Pratik Gupta is going to be hounded by the media and society.  He doesn't seem to be imbalanced, nor does he have a history of violence. Even people around him say that he was a calm  person. He must have been nagged very badly to do what he did.While we pulverise him for his act, I wonder what state of mind he is in. — Atiya Khan/Andheri

I think family envirnonment has a major role to play in such cases. When you witness domestic violence, you either become immune and consider it normal behaviour or you can reach the other extreme and become sensitive to  abuse. —Sonali Kokra/Marine Lines

Abuse does not only mean physical abuse. There are a lot of other things that constitute abuse. In one instance when a boy was mad at his girlfriend he came up and pulled her shirt and looked inside in front of everybody. This is the worst sort of abuse. — Abhijeet R/Napean Sea Road

The warning signals

Urmi Singh
Urmi is a psychologist

Youth violence is an issue of national concern.

What is the trigger factor in cases like this? People react like this due to environmental and individual factors. Nobody gets violent one fine morning. They give signals of violence all along. It is for their family or peer to take note of theses signs.

Murders are normally committed by individuals who are either

- Psychotic
- At-risk Youth: Those who face abuse in any form, like physical, sexual etc in early childhood.
- Individuals who appear normal.

The third group takes us by surprise. However, they too give out signals. Often, they are emotionally troubled, angry and depressed. They may be intelligent but dissatisfied with their achievements. They have friends and still seem lonely. Such circumstances make their judgment and perception distorted.

What can be done to prevent youth violence?

- Link students with mentors/counsellors. Make counselling cells compulsory in all educational institutes.
- Regular home visits and follow ups.
- Frequent mental health assessments
- Introducing concepts of life skill education as an in-school or after-school learning programme. WHO too has accepted the need for life skills education.

Pratik didn’t seem a bad guy

Ronak Kotecha, Charni Road

I pick up my paper to see that Abu Salem has been  replaced by a familiar name accused for cold-blooded murder of his girlfriend.  The name is Pratik Gupta, who I know as a harmless, friendly colleague. I first met him a couple of months ago in the office while we were decorating our cubicles for an upcoming event. He helped me out.

Afterwards, we would run into each other every few days and exchange  pleasantries and it was all so normal. I cannot imagine what led this unpretentious and innocuous looking guy to kill someone.