Motherhood: To be or not to be?

In this debut column of Shakti Speaks, Nilima Bhat offers perspective on whether motherhood defines a woman.

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Sadhana came home in tears. It was her 10th wedding anniversary. She had worn her new saree, kissed her husband good morning and left for work in anticipation of her promotion. Life was good.

Halfway through the day, her mother called. Sadhana announced her new title, expecting her mother to reflect her joy. But that was not to be. “Ten years, and you haven’t conceived yet!  The clock is ticking. You’ve fulfilled your career ambitions; get on with motherhood.”

Sadhana trembled as she put the phone down. The funny thing was, unlike women who wanted to but couldn’t bear children, she had chosen this path; so she couldn’t understand her upheaval. Of late, when the women in office showed off baby bumps left, right and centre, something ever so little would stir in her that she would  repress before she could feel it. And she repressed this too; until she got home. Then she shuddered through a tsunami of feelings, images and unnamed forces. Her tears were hers, and yet, they were coming from beyond her; as if she were channeling the pain of every woman who had not borne a child.

“Why does motherhood still define women?” she wailed. “In this day and age, where we stand shoulder to shoulder with men, why is a woman’s life considered incomplete without a child? Why
is it the be-all and end-all? Do I not have a right to choose how I live?  So what if it does not include motherhood?”

After the rage, came the calm, and with it a Presence, older than time and wiser than age.

“The ‘discomfort’ you feel, when you see pregnant women, is My presence. I am glad you finally ‘looked-in’. You are indeed pregnant—with Me. Pay close attention and bring Me forth in every way you can. Every time you manifest works of high aesthetic form, come up with inclusive solutions to problems, let go with tough love all that doesn’t serve you anymore and embrace the dark-side with compassion and wisdom, you give birth—to Me; to new life. You experience motherhood in a way that honours and fulfills your divine potential.

Your womb is an exquisite resource. Whether or not you choose to birth a human child, it contains the seeds of capacities, gifts and wisdom you will birth into the world. Take good care of it. Listen to its wisdom and rest in its regenerative powers.

Life on our planet is typically propagated through the children we birth. The world is transitioning from the old ways to the new. Don’t fret for being caught in beliefs that don’t serve you anymore.

They will pass; to be replaced by values appropriate for the ‘conscious’ life that is manifesting.

When you redefine Motherhood in this way, do you see that it is indeed the be-all and end-all of being a woman? Say ‘yes’ to motherhood by becoming a mother to yourself first and then to the world.

The world is waiting for your motherhood.”

Shakti Speaks is a monthly column by Nilima Bhat, a facilitator of personal transformation, based on dialogues within The Women’s Circle, a DNA initiative that seeks to restore gender relations and empower women to raise their consciousness and connect with the primordial power within.

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