Who knew builders took black money?

All parents must have been quite relieved to read in the papers this week that the government’s new rules on school buses are about to be implemented.

But then, disaster! Bus owners and drivers are going to go on strike in June. Simple: they don’t like the new rules. Particularly galling from what I could understand is that buses must now carry on board not one but two fire extinguishers.

Two instead of one! Surely that’s good enough reason to go on strike? But wait, there’s more. Buses must also have handrails. Blasphemy! What does Anna Hazare know about dharnas and putting pressure on the government? Bus contractors will show him the way!

Sometimes, it is hard to understand exactly what world you live in. The absurdity of bus owners is matched by the income tax department (I-T), which has just discovered that builders actually ask for black money when selling flats to home owners. Did you know this? Surely not. This was a total secret that no one ever suspected could happen and the I-T has just found out. Really! It makes you wonder just how stupid they think we are.

It gets better. The tax guys know that when people sell property to each other, there is a cash component to the transaction, but they never realised that builders and developers did the same. The average citizen, you see, is as crooked as hell but builders and developers? Why, they are modern-day saints. Who would have guessed that they had learnt about black money from some poor middle class salaried nut trying to buy a flat?

Don’t worry, it gets even better. Between the temerity of the government in asking for two fire extinguishers in one bus (and one handrail) and the endearing innocence of the I-T department, we also have the wonderful news that Mumbai is the malaria capital of the world. Okay, this is not news. We all know it as we itch and scratch our way through the night. And it can’t all be blamed on a few properties somewhere in south-central Mumbai which belong to the Mumbai Port Trust. It’s not because of too many gardens and open spaces either, because we definitely don’t have those.

I have a sneaking suspicion that part of the blame lies with all those delightfully upright citizens otherwise known as builders and developers and all the construction work going on in the city. Mosquitoes like still water and building sites need water and…

Of course, no one’s saying they’re doing it on purpose. But honestly, I wouldn’t mind if they took a little hint from the bus owners and Anna Hazare and went on a little strike now and then.