Wrong number

When I first heard that Thierry Henry had topped a recently-inaugurated football ranking, I thought it must be one of those annoying number analysis that never tell the whole truth.

Funnily enough, the organisers got Cristiano Ronaldo to unveil it. Ronaldo would’ve been thinking, “It’s got to be me at No.1 for sure since I’m doing the unveiling.” Cruel joke on poor Ronaldo as it turned out that ageing-and-past-his-best Thierry Henry was the king of the moment.

I read through the rankings’ website and the explanations for points allotment and frankly I have the exact same feelings as Navjot Singh Sidhu’s on cricket statistics. “Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is tantalising, but what they hide is crucial.”

While the intention and numerical aspect of the whole exercise maybe honest, can genius be quantified in numbers? Can the brilliance of Lionel Messi be rated? Isn’t Cristiano Ronaldo’s cheekiness and sensuality best enjoyed by a blush?

The latest released rankings are not based on opinion but on real performances and 100% accurate objective data. Points were awarded for goals scored as well as assists. Each player was given an index for every match based on their every touch of the ball on the pitch and assessed whether it had a positive or negative impact on a team’s ability score or concede a goal. Players received points for each successful pass they completed.

Along with these, there were various others parameters considered while devising these rankings. While they seem foolproof and mathematically sound, football is never so mechanical.

A footballer’s performance can never be measured by numbers alone. If that was the case, Romario should have been a greater footballer than Maradona, for he has scored over thousand goals in his career. Maradona is not even close to that figure.

The joy of the game is in the Ronaldinho’s little tricks, in Zinedine Zidane’s fluency, in Wayne Rooney’s bravery. Not just in the number of times they hit the back of the net.

That is why my jaw dropped in shock when Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo came in behind Henry in the rankings. Henry is a fabulous player. At his prime, which was when he was in Arsenal, he was unmatched.

But now, it’s Messi’s time. It’s Ronaldo’s time. It’s Fernando Torres’ time. It’s true that numbers can mislead. Here again, Sidhu says it the best: “I lean on statistics like a drunken man leans on a lamppost; only for support, not illumination.”