Kids can wait, time to focus on work

Medical experts have spotted an increasing trend of affluent couples opting for children at a later age. DNA tries to get the opinion of people on the contentious issue of parenthood in the current era.

Expert view
Trend harmful for both child and mother
Late marriages have become a general phenomenon today, the age for conceiving children vary in various communities. Only the Muslim community is an exception to this problem. Around 15-20% couples are opting for babies at the age of 26-28 years in general. But working couples have a different timeline for having babies. They generally have their first child between 28-35 years. Almost 70% working couples want their first child after 30. This trend is not advisable, since it has harmful consequences. At this stage there are chances of premature birth, women develop gestational diabetes, fibroid of uterus and labour pains become irregular. In case of late pregnancy, stress and blood pressure are normally high, which lead to various complications for mother and child. Late pregnancy also reduces the chances of normal delivery and chances of caesarean delivery become high. Due to various complications at a later age, babies are required to be kept in an incubator after birth. The ideal age for having babies is 25, because both body and mind are conducive.  
—Balkrishna Inamdar, gynaecologist, VP, Indian Medical Association

Can conceive in 20s and yet be equally successful
It is true that couples are putting their career above everything. It’s an unhealthy approach but couples are opting to have a child in their thirties. Earlier women were usually housewives and men were pursuing a career. Now society has evolved and both men and women get equal opportunities. Even husbands encourage their wives and help them to fulfil their ambition. But in this race, they forget that their biological clock is racing, they realise this only when it is late. At a later stage, many cannot conceive babies, because of factors like stress and depression. I have come across cases where both husband and wife blame each other for delaying the decision. One has to consider biological limitations, before deciding on career moves. There are many examples, where people have conceived children in mid-twenties and are successful. This age is conducive for having babies.            —Rajan Bhonsle, founder director,  Heart To Heart Counselling Centre

Today career goals are important
Today people are ready to take risks. So despite the doctor’s claim that late pregnancy is not favourable, they don’t mind taking the chance. Today couples prioritise settling down in life and have career goals, they don’t want any compromises. Also if it’s a joint family, there will be other members in the family, who will take care of the child. Today even grandparents are not ready to take the responsibility of bringing up the child. So I think it’s okay if working couples wants to postpone the decision of having a child till, a certain period of time, when they feel they are fully settled.
—Pius Noronha, project manager

Today’s mindset prefers adoption

Today people have no time and delaying motherhood is a small consequence of the same. Women have the same right to choose their career like men. So if they are not prepared they shouldn’t have children. I wanted a family before career. I got married at 23 had my first child at 25. I thought that was perfect. It’s important to consider the long term complications the baby might face in case of a late pregnancy. Couples should jointly take such decisions and in these times. I have seen that couples are considering adoption too. This is the new age mindset and if the body isn’t ready when the mind is, adoption could be an alternative.     —Reeta Gupta, proprietor
Today people have no time and delaying motherhood is a small consequence of the same. Women have the same right to choose their career like men. So if they are not prepared they shouldn’t have children. I wanted a family before career. I got married at 23 had my first child at 25. I thought that was perfect. It’s important to consider the long term complications the baby might face in case of a late pregnancy. Couples should jointly take such decisions and in these times. I have seen that couples are considering adoption too. This is the new age mindset and if the body isn’t ready when the mind is, adoption could be an alternative.     —Reeta Gupta, proprietor

Learn to achieve work-life balance
Today, people opt for a late marriage. This consequently results in having children at a later age. In the Indian context, there are many factors. Both husband and wife need to be totally prepared to welcome a new member in the family. Today career is important for both man and woman, but one should keep the medical complications of both mother and child in mind in case of a late pregnancy. When it comes to such situations, family support is really important. Not just the woman, even the man has to learn and be prepared to balance family life and work. 
—Nilesh Munot, businessman

Sound medical advice must prevail
Parenthood shouldn’t be delayed for a long time. This is because it results in some complications in the long run for the child. Like one consults a doctor while planning a baby, it is important to consult a specialist even when one is planning to delay the decision of having a child. One should then act according to medical advice. Today, career has definitely become a top priority for working couples. One cannot ignore the fact that they have been working hard for a better future. So it’s important that couples plan in advance rather than just postpone the decision and regret their move later. The joy of being a mother cannot be expressed.
—Jasmine T, housewife

I don’t regret motherhood in early 20s
Today people are career-oriented and don’t mind putting marriage and child on hold. I got married at 20 and within a year my son was born. At that time, I thought things happened fast and I should have waited. But now, I’m fine with the decision. My son is pursuing higher studies in college, I don’t have to worry about him since I can concentrate on my vocation. Also, I think it’s better for parents to see their children well-settled, when they are young. Otherwise it becomes problematic when parents grow old while their children are struggling to settle. Women should keep in mind that their clock is ticking and  having a child at right time is important.     —Kusum Shah, beautician