Rainbow Guru: Is she asking for an open marriage?

Dear Rainbow Guru
I just got engaged to my girlfriend of five years. We’ve had a great relationship and have never kept secrets from each other. On the day of our engagement, she told me she loves me, but is close to this one girl. They’ve been best friends for a few years, and now she says they’ve also had sexual relations and she would like to continue even after marriage. Is she lesbian or bisexual? Is she asking for an open marriage? Please help.
—Mr Clueless Fiancé

Hi Mr Clueless Fiancé,

Looks like your girlfriend would really enjoy rolling around naked with this other girl. Don’t get me wrong, there is more to a lesbian/bisexual than just sex, obviously. There are emotions and trust, just like in a straight relationship. So, if she’s telling you she’s close to this girl, you best believe the ‘special friendship’ they share will continue even after the wedding. What you shouldn’t do is give her the go-ahead to explore the world and all the breasts it has to offer.

Don’t make the mistake of insisting that you be there to witness the exploration — that’s pretty sleazy (unless of course, they are okay with it too). Being bisexual can be extremely confusing. Your girlfriend could be going through a harrowing time trying to please her parents, while also staying true to herself. If your girlfriend happens to come out of the closet, treat it with kindness and care.

It all comes down to how you both define a marriage. Are you okay with an open marriage? How do you feel about sharing your wife with a woman (or anyone else for that matter).

Better sort this out before the walk to the altar, otherwise you know what they say — Marry in haste, repent at leisure.

Speak up

Send your questions to sexualitydna@gmail.com