Let’s talk about Manoj and you

Manoj and you are sitting on a park bench. You are having a light, couple-like conversation, before it is interrupted by Manoj's irritation at what he believes is you, checking out a passerby. When you fight back, feebly, his well-timed apology drowns out the discussion. 

Manoj and you are chilling with your gang. A girl friend asks if you'd like to check out this crazy sale at a mall—you're excited. Manoj announces he'll come along. You protest. This time louder. But he schools you with a “Main chal raha hoon, bas!" His voice not friendly anymore.

Two scenes into Kya Yahi Pyar Hai? youth initiative Love Matters India's virtual reality film on intimate partner violence, and you know that the supposedly minor power plays can escalate to an ugly end. Unfortunately, in real life, the abused (verbally, physically, emotionally, sexually or psychologically—there are no set terms) often don't realise the same until its too late. "Romantic relationships today, married and unmarried, have come to normalise a lot of toxic behaviour that like jealousy, control and even abuse," points out Vithika Yadav, Head of the "blush-free" digital space that provides young people a platform to talk about sexual-reproductive health and rights without risking judgement. Of their many silence-busting campaigns, Kya Yahi Pyar Hai, a larger awareness drive that includes the 3-minute VR film, is the latest. While the movie shows a heterosexual unmarried, couple, Yadav insists that the drive rallies against abuse in any form, against any gender or sexual orientation. Indeed, the information sidebar on Love Matters' website seems to be recognize and address the complex multiplicity of the topic--with sections such as Sex A-Z, Love and Relationships, Communication, Marriage, Her Body, His Body, Gay and Lesbian, Virginity, Making Love, Safe Sex, Birth Control, Pregnancy, STDs, Sexual Harassment and Sex and the Internet. While the information on display is basic, the forum is an interactive one, with a cool-cat 'Aunty Ji' promising to respond to any questions. The Indianisation of the content is clever, seeing that the organisation has a global presence across China, Kenya, Egypt and South America.

Coming back to the movie, it's already generated a powerful response after being screened at the Social pub in Delhi on June 17, followed by free VR-booth viewings at metro stations across the capital. Currently traveling to Mumbai and the rest of the country, with an Youtube and Facebook release in the pipeline, questions are exactly what this movie hopes to raise. "We particularly wanted to break the myth that physical abuse nahi matlab wo abuse nahi," adds Yadav.

You might have figured out where Manoj's initial transgressions lead, without us elaborating—but it is only the immediacy of the 360 degree experience that would leave you awake to a reality most often ignored. Because when the prototypical Manoj screams and rampages, he's not communicating with the disembodied female voice-over. Hardly.
He's looking straight at a horrified audience. He's looking—at you.