Asparagus for your naughty thoughts

Chocolates. Asparagus. Bananas. Pomegranates. Watermelon. Chillies. Oysters. 

This is not a list of ingredients for lunch, but a list of some of the best-known aphrodisiacs that are guaranteed to get you in the mood. Either by their suggestive appearance, or by their high content of zinc and phosphate, etc. Or simply by the way you have them — slurp, lick, bite. 

But we Indians believe there is no better way to get your mojo rising than a glass of milk. The sattvic of all foods, it apparently nourishes the soul and sets our imagination on fire. Which could explain why in Hindi films of a certain vintage, where mature couples waited with bated breath to be pushed into a room in their wedding finery, exchanged a glass of milk without exchanging any words. Correction. It was always the bride who ceremoniously handed over the glass of milk to the groom, without even lifting her ghunghat. The gesture was supposed to be an invitation to get into the bed.

I am not sure if this was inspired by real-life customs because each community, each culture in our country has a different way to ensure that marriages were consummated on the very night of exchanging garlands and vows and gifts. In some communities, the couple have to wait for at least a night and day before they find themselves in a suitably private room in the middle of the wedding circus. 

What has often struck me as odd is that all these so-called wedding night rituals are meant to excite the men, if they needed any more excitement, that is. The women on the other hand, are meant to be the passive receiver of her man’s heightened sexual drive. Her job? Dress up. Hand over glass of milk or whatever it is. Dress down.

I have not found any record of rituals in Indian communities that are meant to intensify a woman’s sexual drive on her big night. Rather, there are customs galore — including the silly practice of spreading white sheets on the nuptial bed — that are meant to record her state of virginity. Elsewhere, single women and widows were forbidden from having garlic or onion — which could raise their body heat and put naughty thoughts in her head.

But I am willing to be proven wrong. Until then, I am trying to visualise newly weds sitting on a bed and munching on asparagus and nibbling on chillies.

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