Summer carnage

It's over. It's all over this time. The world might as well come to an end. Recession, religious bigotry, and marriage to the same spouse has slowly broken us down, now the temperature has joined this carnage.

Startling fact No.1: March 1 - rise in temperature by 7 degrees.

Startling fact No. 2: To use this temperature change to their advantage some people were frying their eggs on the road.

Startling fact No. 3: Some of these people were fried themselves well before the eggs.

Startling fact No. 4: My neighbours Mr and Mrs Kapadia chose March 1 to host a picnic brunch at Alibaug.

Startling fact No. 5: The guests were never seen again.

Startling fact No. 6: Neither were Mr and Mrs Kapadia.

Startling fact No. 7: The wife and I too attended this brunch. By 1.30 in the afternoon (8:30 GMT), I was mistaken for the toast. The wife was just mistaken.

Startling fact No. 8: Holiday destinations in India have stopped offering discounts. Instead, they are actually paying holiday makers to come. Ads include '3 days 3 nights free, 4th & 5th night we pay you 100 dollars per night, ice guaranteed with every meal'.

Startling fact No. 9: Hotels have also started actively encouraging tipping - of the customs.

Startling fact No. 10: Only movies that include pictures of the Swiss Alps (snow covered), polar bears and Eskimos will do well.

Startling fact No. 11: It's hard to feature an Eskimo and two polar bears in a movie like Delhi 6.

Startling fact No. 12: Due to the recession AC's are a no-no. The only way to beat the heat is to lay on a marble floor and beg God for mercy.

Startling fact No. 13: I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is at the end of this summer the temperature will change. The bad news is that the summer will be followed by an even hotter summer.