Bouncing with IPL!

The IPL is already causing havoc. Especially in the personal lives of those players who remained unsold at last week’s auction. Like Australian Phil Jacques, who couldn’t find a date over the weekend after it became known that top Bollywood actresses didn’t indulge in a bidding war over him! To make matters worse, South African Andre Nel was reminded by his wife of a painful chapter from the 2006 India-South Africa series.

“Remember how Sreesanth danced in front of you on the pitch?” she asked. “If only you’d learnt a little bit of dancing and matched steps with him, those Bollywood babes might have bid for you!”

It’s not just Nel who’s in an embarrassing situation. Aussie Stuart Clark came home last night and found his wife Michelle in a bad mood. “No dinner for you,” she snapped.

“Because I can’t step out of the house to buy groceries without people asking me how it feels to be married to someone who isn’t saleable! In these times of recession, the least I could have expected was to have a husband who can be sold off at an auction for good money!”

Elsewhere, Mashrafe Mortaza found it so hard to believe that Preity Zinta and Juhi Chawla pulled at each other’s hair in a bidding battle over him, the Bangladeshi bowler first pinched himself, then stuck a knife into his thigh and finally jumped off a building in an attempt to convince himself that this wasn’t a dream! Now Shah Rukh Khan will have to foot a whopping $300,000 in hospital bills — which is half the amount spent on buying Mortaza for Kolkata Knight Riders!

In another disturbing development, Shane Warne expressed concern over Shilpa Shetty’s stake in Rajasthan Royals. “When my boyfriend Raj Kundra told me that we’re putting money on RR,” she told Warne, “I was delighted… until I realised that by RR he meant Rajasthan Royals and not Rest-n-Recreation!” Shilpa assured Warne that she would bring in the ‘Bollywood perspective’ and pitch in to provide moral support for the team. Then she snatched the ball from him, sashayed onto the pitch, threw the ball down and started dancing around it, singing: “Shut up and bounce… baby, bounce!” Warne is reportedly still in a state of shock.