Sex education begins at home

I spent a week this summer taking a course that would help me deal with the questions children ask about sex. I did this in advance because I wanted all the answers for my infant when he attains the age of 10.

Little did I realise that my 11-year-old niece would make me sit the first test.
She had been told that when Moms and Dads want children, Mom heads for the operating table, doc cuts her tummy open, and bingo! angel is born. My nephew, 6, on the other hand, had been told that he was bought from a shop in New Market. So, when I met them , I wasn’t surprised that they didn’t believe a word.

When my niece asked who decides whether a pup is born male or female, I reached for my course book.  This time I thought I had a great opportunity to start my own (very new-age, I told myself) sex-education module.

Then I heard her first question. “How do babies happen?” I looked at the wall, out of the window, but got no help.

Desperate to help my project, I said: “They grow in Mom’s tummy.”

“Yeah. But how does it go there?”

“A cell gets into the tummy, it grows.”

“Oh. The cell explained in the biology book?”

“Yes.”

“How does the cell go there?” My new-age module was in tatters.

I asked her if she’s watched any Hindi film with a suhaag raat in it (hard to miss). She wrinkled her nose in distaste: “Yes I did. Is that how babies happen?”

“No, that’s how many married people start. Many get acquainted with each other (my cheeks were burning) and there’s a chance that one such meeting might cause the cell to get in.”

I kicked myself for taking this on. But there was no respite now. She looked at me, quizzically: “But I still don’t understand… how…” 

“You can’t understand the procedure (I can’t explain), ok? For that, you can look up the last chapter of any standard IX biology textbook, next year perhaps.”

Having thrown her off, I gleefully boasted of my doing to my sister. “Couldn’t you wait for another year?” she sighed. “That’s nothing,” I said. “On my next trip, I’ll tell her about the precautions.”

At night, when I was rocking my baby to sleep, my sister-in-law came rushing in. “Rohan (curious nephew) asks what’s a condom. Tell me something quick.”

“Say it’s used by grown-ups to protect against injury.”