Hangover secularised

Amid worldwide calls for moderation, Mumbai plans to allow city pubs to stay open till 5 am

Here are Christmas tales from three places. In Mumbai the state government is contemplating allowing permit rooms, beer bars and clubs to stay open till 5 am on December 24, 25 and 31. It seems to have acknowledged that festivities can’t be fun unless they involve an overworked liver.

Cardinal of Kerala’s Ernakulam-Angamaly archdiocese, Varkey Vidyathil, has lamented the centrality that liquor has assumed in Christian festivities, and has urged Catholics in his remit to celebrate Christmas without getting sloshed. Now, cut to London, where in a busy London intersection, a faux-tomb reads: “Here lies a man who was too drunk last Christmas.”

The two independently released sobriety promotions will certainly not persuade the hangover aristocracy to alter its Christmas menu. And I am bracing myself for the usual midnight calls with which people will offer slurred greetings.

Nothing I say, here implies that my celebration of Christmas is always marked by monastic denial. How can it be? Like many people, I get easily stupefied by the mass surge towards the cultural high promised by the good cheer and bonhomie associated with Christmas. Like Diwali and Eid, I tell myself, Christmas binds India together in a tradition that strengthens ties with ‘secularising spirituality’.

But the cardinal’s gentle appeal and the London police’s unsubtle health warning have made me reconsider my opinion. The two declarations turned out to be a strange cocktail that triggered a lurching reflection on all that I have heard and read about Christmas being transformed into a synchronised transnational revelry.

I remember reading, back in the eighties, countdown-to-Christmas issues of Western newspapers and magazines in which many articles offered survival tips to those who were without dates or party invitations. Such pieces proceeded at the cloying pace of obituaries and urged the abandoned to buy a nice bottle of wine and to play on the music.

Over the years, the articles dealing with those who are forced to stay home alone on Christmas - we are still in the West - have become naughtier and make risqué suggestions. But the sense of sympathy for the unfortunate audience has remained intact. The denial of the opportunity to dance and drink is taken seriously, and the authors propose ideas to cope with the crisis with commiserative tenderness.

Curiously, booze is still projected as an emotional emollient. As for other articles, it teaches readers how to organise parties or how to smell nice on that critical date. So there you go: the West has secularised Christmas into a ritual of gluttony and sexual frisson. Sadly, the ‘West’ could stand for western suburbs! I know it is too glib to make that accusation only to smoothen the transition from one sentence to the next. To be fair, all reputable hotels in Mumbai have traditionally served Christmas as another opportunity to drink. Just look at all the ads inviting ‘couples only’ to make merry. In Mumbai, it seems as though the festival has become another chance block the poor stags, who presumably will stay at home and drink their daily rum rather than 5-star wine!

I have had enough of the addled secularising. I shall be at the midnight mass this year. Real Christmas, anyone? 
 
Email:raghu@dnaindia.net