Googles and fits

What is the first name that comes to your mind when you think of the phrase ‘miserable failure?’ If you hated US president George W Bush, then the two words would definitely describe him and his floundering Iraqi campaign. Someone certainly think so, just like others think ‘drunken despot’ suggests Brazilian President Luiz Lula and still others feel ‘enemy of the people’ is a perfect description for Vladimir Putin.

These world leaders are victims of ‘Googlebombing’, the internet nerd’s version of condemning people. In typical cyber style, there is already a name and a whole subculture around this phenomena, which basically amounts to using complex algorithms to link up phrases to names so that each search connects them. It is no different from giving nicknames in the school playground, but with clever technology thrown in.

Google is not amused. It doesn’t want people to think that this reflects Google’s own opinion in any way. The internet can be a maze of elliptical connections and search engines are notorious for turning up all kinds of random associations. But Google prides itself on its search technology and has made its billions successfully convincing users that they will find what they are looking for.

When they find that ‘unimportant sheep’ leads to the Premier of Quebec, in Canada, they get worked up, though why anyone should type that rather off-beat phrase remains a mystery.

The empire has hit back with its own equations. Its maths wizards have spent sleepless nights to come up with a series of algorithms that can effectively deal with these techie guerillas.

Most such bombs have been eliminated, using a neutralising code that then made sure that the user was redirected to providing information about the Googlebomb itself. Some will recur or new ones pop up, but they will be dealt with manually, on a ‘case by case basis’, as the Indian babu would say. This clean-up may have taken much of the fun out of surfing, but it will continue to give Google the sanitised image it wants.

Is this censorship? No doubt some nerd warriors think so and are planning their revenge. Perhaps the words ‘internet buster’ will lead to Google itself. But the company cannot afford to take chances. George Bush isn’t likely to sue, but what if his supporters — or what remains of them — do? Best to do away with the problem once and for all.