Hide ‘n’ seek is the mantra of GenNext

Just the other day, my friends and I were chatting about how things have gotten ‘younger’ with Generation Next – in the sense that kids in their teens know more than what we did in our 20s or 30s. 

Don’t get me wrong – I am not referring to sweet ‘sex-teen’ or anything like that but today’s kids scarcely out of their ‘tens’ are aware of the birds and the bees.

Once I saw a teenager from my society walking down the lane. Instinctively I smiled at her before I realised that she had company. It was pretty common knowledge that she was going steady with someone… but probably feeling awkward at being spotted by a parent, the girl didn’t return the greeting.

Later, I wondered why…. Is it because, as a mother, I am automatically relegated to another generation and so am perceived as someone who will not take kindly to dating-shating? Or is it because they feared I would immediately connect to the mother network and we’d all start buzzing about what our kids are up to?

Having been there and done that (in a manner of speaking), I think it boils down to a matter of trust. If we know – by and large – what our child is doing... more importantly, if we have faith in our child, chances are the kid will not let us down. Provided, of course, we give our child freedom of expression and freedom of choice. And we trust him/her to make the right decision. After all, our children’s thought processes are wired by the way we bring them up.

Why would our child, especially one who is a young adult — and that is how I would like to define a teenager — feel the need to hide things from us?  Is it because they are scared we will not approve? Or is it because they feel the need to do things on their own, make their own decisions?

Counselling psychologist, Jeevan D’Cunha, whom I addressed this question to, answered, “One reason is because they think parents won’t understand, you belong to a different generation. Or else, they may hide things – acts of omission not commission – because they feel it is not important enough or they want to feel in control of their own lives. An ‘I am my own boss’ feeling….”

Till date (touch wood), my son has told me about his various mishaps and misdeeds – from being made to squat in front of the teacher’s desk as a punishment in school (a few years ago, when he had yet to graduate into his teens) to the time he crossed the main road with a group of friends to have vada pav!

And I still smile when I recall how he told me, when in Class VI, that a friend of his had bought a Valentine’s Day card for a girl he liked. Boy oh boy, his generation is on a roller-coaster… Am I waiting for the day I will see a similar card in his bag? To tell you the truth, I hope not for a while... even as I hope he will tell me about going to buy it!