Faking it, on paper

The best part about being a writer is that with a blank page in front of you, you have the luxury of time to construct better versions of yourself. Newly empowered by the Internet, the more socially-challenged amongst us today use our literary skills to carve out suave, articulate personas that are a far cry from our real-time selves. However, it’s a privilege of the pen all writers learn to exploit from the time they discover they can.

Today, whether you're a writer by profession or inclination, invariably float in cyberspace. While you can exercise control over self-published pieces, those you let loose on a whim promise to haunt you forever. My most embarrassing online presence, incidentally, also marked the start of my writing career.

My first professional piece, written at the age of 14, was featured on a now defunct matrimonial website based in Karachi, Pakistan. I call it professional because I was promised a paycheck for it, which I never received, earning me that quintessential writer’s experience: getting stiffed.

However, the incident had other rewarding consequences. It being a matrimonial website, I was told to write about ‘dating and relationships’. I, at my awkward best at 14, had zero experience of either. And as a fair consequence, had ample exposure to cable television. So, with tentative poise,  I sent off a cheeky article titled ‘Seven things you should never do on a date’. Then I awaited another quintessential writer’s  experience — staring, teary-eyed, at a tersely-worded rejection letter.

Instead, the piece got published. Among the glowing comments from readers, one especially stood out: “Loved it. Reminded me of Carrie Bradshaw. Keep writing!” Now the credibility of those who browse matrimonial websites for romantic advice (and Candance Bushnell) is highly dubious to say the least. But for a gawky 14-year-old who had been suddenly mistaken for an iconic 30-something fictional columnist with a string of failed relationships to attest to her ripened womanhood, it was pretty damn cool.

Today, when I revisit many of my old articles about a vast range of subjects and people, written with such conviction that it even had me fooled while I was writing it, I keep an eye out for that uncertain 14-year-old who still lurks in their shadows. After all, that fine line separating who you are, from who you’d like to make people think you are is always at the risk of getting blurred by those with even a moderate grasp of the written word. And when you’re getting paid to do it for a living, eventually, the one person you’re most likely to con is yourself!