The great Indian pigeon challenge

Pigeons, pigeons, pigeons! When you wake up every day dreaming of them, you know there is something seriously wrong in your life.

Till I came to this city of dreams, rather city of pigeons, this bird would only bring me good thoughts. Symbol of peace, beacon of love, and the Bollywood blockbuster song Kabootar ja ja ja.
When I got married, I knew managing daily chores and reaching office on time would be a little difficult, but I didn’t have the faintest idea that there was a bigger challenge in store for me — keeping pigeons out of my house.

They are always there, right outside my kitchen window, waiting for me to leave with the window open. They have other ways too — I once caught one wriggling its neck into the slight gap of a window I had left ajar. You won’t believe me, but they know we have sliding windows!

The flight in is smooth and silent and many times I have been unaware that they are peeping from my kitchen loft.

And when you shoo them away, they will make a great deal of fuss. The flight out is never smooth or silent. Sometimes I feel their sense of direction is worse than mine. They often get confused as to which way is out. I mean, I have left one of the windows open. What more do they expect from me?

And as they leave, they have to flutter their wings, I don’t know whether in panic or panache. After all this ‘tamasha’, I am left wondering if there is a tiny speck of feather in the dough that was waiting to be made into rotis or in the oil in my kadhai, for the preparation of curry.

I can’t see a thing but I don’t like taking chances, at least when it comes to food. So, there goes the dough into the dustbin and the oil down the sink. Oh, you thought it was just the kitchen? No! They even soil the panes of my living room and bedroom with their excreta and feathers.

Trust me, cleaning somebody else’s deeds is not easy. My husband should be given the credit for clearing up the mess and making my life easy.

They also make this annoying “gutur, gutur” noise all the time. You hear it when you wake up in the morning and even when you retire for the day. I have always been tempted to shout at these gray birds, “Why don’t you guys take a break?”

Someone suggested that there are crackers that are designed to scare away these interfering, uncouth birds. But I decided to opt for some non-violent means. Suggestions are welcome, friends.