Counselor’s corner: The world has place for introverts and extroverts

I’m a 12-year-old boy and I generally like the company of books, my pet dog and one close friend. Most people find it very strange although I’m happy this way. My parents want me to change, but I hate socialising and being in big groups. I feel lost. Is being an introvert a bad thing?

I can totally relate to this, and I’m so glad that you wrote to us about it. In this world, there is a place for both introverts and extroverts. We have brilliant examples of introverts who are super successful like Bill Gates, JK Rowling, Albert Einstein and many more. 

However, I do agree with you that most people may struggle to understand how introverts operate. In my understanding, from your description, you may get your energies from your downtime, being alone or in the company of a close friend as compared to big groups. 

As compared to this, extroverts primarily get their energy when they socialise with others, and being part of big groups. 

So please continue being yourself and tell your family how you enjoy your own company and that this does not make you feel lonely.

Since a few days, my best friend has been acting very mean and I’m feeling very hurt about it. What do you suggest I do? 

I can relate to this, and I can sense how you are in pain. It definitely is more hurtful when a close friend behaves in a not-so-kind manner and sometimes this can feel like betrayal. I do empathise with your difficult feelings. 

This is a good moment for you to communicate honestly with your friend about what you feel. While I’m not sure if your friend even realises that he/she may be coming across as mean. 

Talk to her/him without trying to blame her. Keep the communication open so that you can also listen to her side of the story. A good friendship is about talking through differences, and being authentic to each other. 

Being able to talk to your friend honestly is also a sign that you trust her and this friendship matters to you. Try and be calm when you talk to your friend rather than being accusatory.