Wine, women and love

We have all had our crushes on our teachers — English, Drama, Music (somehow math or science teachers never really made the cut, or Hindi for that matter. No offence to the wonderful lot out there.) But only a few of us eventually fell in love with them. And in the rarest of rare cases, ended up marrying them.

Trust the French to challenge our notions of what is acceptable. They taught us how to kiss the air (three times), how to kiss deep, build the most odd looking installation with divine profiteroles — the croquembouche. And now, when the world is seemingly obsessed with youth, it elects to power a 39-year-old President, who is married to a 64-year-old woman. She was his drama teacher, married and a mother of three, when 15-year-old Macron fell in love with her and vowed to marry her some day. That’s some love.

Why are we so squeamish about older women dating, marrying younger men? It appears that a few years of difference escapes censure. But wider the gap, and the more vicious the attacks.

Anjali Tendulkar, Adhuna Akhtar, Amrita Singh, Aishwarya Bachchan, are just some women who married younger men. But a Demi Moore is called the usual names — cradle snatcher, cougar with ‘claws’ unsheathed for the ‘hunt’. So are the likes of Ivana Trump, Raquel Welch, Madonna, Susan Sarandon and a host of other women in the West. They have all been with men at least 10 years their junior.

East or West, our name calling the women who marry younger men is because of our inability to understand what really gets the couple together and keeps them going. Is it sex? Then both of them must be sick, pervs. Is it platonic love? Then it is boring. It is just a matter of convenience? Then she must be doing things on the rebound and he must be a gold digger.

Brigitte Trogneux, the French First Lady is such an important departure in this narrative. Macron has always acknowledged her role in shaping his public persona. And the world will now get to see more of her magic. And for all those looking to make sexist, ageist, misogynistic comments, hold your tongue. A woman, with her wrinkles and her grey hair, could still fire up a young man’s passion, imagination. Wine, women and love — all get better with age. Trust the French to show us how.    

Scribbler, scribe, traveller Chandrima Pal takes you through the sexual landscape of today

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