The third person in our bedrooms

Let’s face it, most of us aren’t alone in our bedrooms. We had interlopers in our bedroom too. For many years, it was the duly begotten offspring who grew out of the crib and made the natural transition to Vitruvian man position between both his progenitors on the bed. This ended one night when restless leg syndrome during deep sleep resulted in a papa jumping up in the dark of the night, screaming in agony. This continued until he eventually decided he was a big boy and would sleep henceforth ‘apne aap’ in his own room. We still had Sauron’s eye in the room, omnipresent, staking unwarranted claim on our time and attention even though spouses could be wringing their hands asking for their rightfully due.

The television set. Gratification and distraction at the press of a button. Pitched battles fought over channels. The tease of changing channels and stopping lingeringly on the one you know your partner wants to watch. The eyes going heavy-lidded from a marathon of watching re-runs. Of course, now we have Netflix and television viewing can never be the same again. I’ve heard of couples who haven’t had a civil conversation over an entire weekend because one of the two is binge watching shows. And of course, after so much, “Honey, I have a headache,” is a real thing, rather than standard excuse.

A couple of months ago, this third person in the bedroom, shuddered its screen, flickered violently for a bit and gave up. The replacement was researched. Showrooms visited. Pros and cons of models debated. But somehow the new television didn’t get purchased. It has been a couple of months, and we have been without a television in the bedroom, and it has been, well, liberating. No longer the compulsion to watch a little of something before going to sleep. No more flickering light from the screen while the spouse is watching. And no more distractions.

A study by an Italian sexologist found that couples with a television in their bedroom have sex half as often as those who don’t. The team which questioned 523 Italian couples found that those without a television had sex on an average of twice a week, while those with a television in their bedrooms had sex once a week.

On the flip, a survey commissioned by a British company (it might be prudent to add this is a company that offers discount deals on television) found that Brits who have television in their bedrooms had sex twice a week while those without said they had sex once a week. But 32 per cent said it was because they could have sex without missing their favourite shows, which is actually a disturbingly high level reached in the game of multitasking. Almost half said they watched television while having sex with their partner, which one would think would do terrible things for the partner’s sense of performance if they only knew. We have other reasons to welcome television in Indian bedrooms. A Health and Family Welfare Minister back in 2009 said that television watched late into the night might just help with population control.

About our bedroom, we just might get a replacement for the television that died on us. We just might not. As with the research, the jury is out on this one too.

Kiran Manral is the author of six published books across genres. She is also a recovering Nutella addict

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