Summer in London... Part 1

So the Indians are here and all hell has broken loose. On my flight from Delhi to London, a certain Sheetal Bhagat and a gent by the name of Arjun Kohli made a nuisance of themselves by drinking themselves silly with the Jet crew unable to stop serving them alcohol. Their names were obtained by me from the crew just so that I could shame them in print which I am now doping with great delight. So these two, with no care for other passenger,s kept themselves closeted in the First Class Cabin 1K and through rounds and rounds of alcohol kept all of us awake. I had to ask the Inflight Supervisor about ten times to control these two louts but nothing worked. Jet Airways needs better and more confident crew. We are not about to pay fares on their goddamn flights only to be disturbed by inebriated louts.

Sunday was very special in the sense the lady who runs the Akshay Patra Foundation's charity work in London, hosted a dosa-idli lunch in her garden which was superb. Dipika Khaitan ensured a steady flow of some amazing food and bloody Marys to boost. The conversation moved from the sublime to the ridiculous because a certain dodgy surgeon, liver at that, came up to me to discuss the virtues of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar's philosophy and began to explain it in a manner which suggested that even in his infinite wisdom, he was finite to the extent he understood what the Godman was doing. There were some very pretty women albeit married and with children which makes any garden party a delight because you can see these kids prancing around with parents feeling less guilty. In have often wondered why some of the nicest women, with great intelligence submit to the servility of marriage but that is for another column or debate. The countryside in England is breathless and we are lucky we have none of the Maharashtra politicians who would probably gobble up this land too if they had their way. The day morphed into the evening and after a lot of drinking and eating I returned to my hotel but not before a brisk walk in Hyde Park.

The problem with summers in London is that you will, for sure, bump into Indians who you may have spent a decade avoiding which is why ruin far away from the Oxford Streets and Audley pubs unless of course you are dim enough to wallow in Indianspeak which this year is all about Narendra Modi and his conquest of India.

All in all, it promises to be a splendid summer: there's a lot on the cultural front. Twelve Angry Men and Fatal Attractions are some of the plays you should be seeing as is the operatic version of Romeo and Juliet not to mention the many art soirees which include those of SaffronART and Christies. Yes, Christies is also having a party with Usha Mittal if that is saying much. But this is what every summer in London is all about. You only need to know who and what to avoid.