Small town comforts

Growing up as a bisexual in Kodaikanal, Tamil Nadu was interesting. It’s a small town but we went to an international school, so there were two extreme cultures at play, which albeit chaotic, presented us ultimately with a truly holistic perspective. We were young and in boarding school, and only had ourselves to explore to figure out who we were.

I first developed a crush on a girl when I was roughly eight or nine. She was a senior and leading the pep rally, and man that girl could dance. As you grow up and start noticing the people around you, it becomes harder to keep urges or thoughts to yourself. Especially when you also have a curious group of friends. Telling my friends at 13 or 14 was a little uncomfortable because it had been growing obvious to me that I just liked girls too. I had also just discovered what bisexuality meant and it just made a lot of things abundantly clear. But my friends were understanding, even encouraging. And then as high school went on, more and more of my friends explored their sexuality. 

Ultimately, it was a hell of an experience. We definitely explored enough to come out of it having a good idea of who we were and what our sexual preferences were. It definitely made me an open-minded person, having seen the different stages of bi-curious, closet lesbianism, and bisexuality.

By my mid junior year, I had flourished through maybe two or three flings, if not girlfriends, and yet I paced them with boyfriends in between. Of course these guys went crazy thinking they had turned me “gay” but no one can turn anyone gay — that’s just not a thing. 

After a while my entire girl group was supportive and some of them even played around with the idea of being bi-curios with each other or even with me. Sooner than later, I became that sexy senior hoe who hooks up girls at school dances and that brought me all sorts of popularity. 

Kodi was a chunk of India that was not really India. People were more open minded than not, and much more accepting. It wasn’t just our professors or peers, even the locals were understanding. I was able to walk around with girls, openly kiss them and indulge in PDA without anybody going crazy. In fact, they would even go out of their way to support it – say I was in a salon or store with my girl, they would be like, “Oh take this for your girlfriend. She’ll love you for it.”

When I see my non-heterosexual friends in college now, and hear how they came out to themselves, I feel blessed. Not everyone gets to come out at such a young age, and that is important because then you get comfortable with yourself. I can’t comment on those who have been bullied because I never experienced that.

But I want to direct this piece not to those who are gay or bi-sexual or other than the norm; I direct it to you fine straight people. If you have a friend who is gay and suffering or struggling, be there for them and accept them the way my friends did me. Be there for them the way their parents can’t be. Don’t let them feel that they are anything but human, because that is what’s going to make the world a better and safer place to live in.