Rick's Ramblings: Inedible avocados and undateable men

You can pick up an unripe, inedible kachcha avocado and work on it, and fix it, you put it in a paper bag with bananas, and let it ripen and get yummy in a day or two and eventually eat it (yes, that’s the trick to ripen an avocado, you’re welcome!). The point is, you can do that to an avocado, but the same cannot be done with men, especially the bad, undateable a**holes. The unripe, inedible avocados have prospect of getting soft and yummy eventually with a bit of work, but the truly undateable men not so much and do not tell me, you don’t know how to spot which ones are undateable, you instinctively always know, which one is genuinely bad. And mostly, you are always drawn towards that one the most.

Believe me, sistaa, you cannot pick one of those and believe you can magically change him into this wonderful guy that you can date and even take to mommy! Trust me, that ain’t gonna happen, not for you, not for anyone else; it’s a total waste of your time and effort. You might as well invest that time in learning Japanese or something, which I hear from my friend Sej (the queen of Japan) is extremely difficult to learn and chances are even that you might end up speaking fluent Japanese some day, but the other thing definitely is not gonna happen. Oh, and all those stories that you heard about an a**hole turning into Ryan Gosling from The Notebook aka the perfect guy, those are big fat lies; those are pure myths... unlike an unripe avocado, an a**hole will always be an a**hole, no matter how much you try to change it.

I know none of us will acknowledge it, but let’s face it, it’s a total high to pick someone undateable, totally unworthy and fix him up into something fabulous. It’s a challenge and we all like a little bit of that, but trust me, this is a total waste of time and effort, if you find the wrong guy and you get the urge to fix him up and date him. I say, call a designated “slap me out” friend to come and give you two tight slaps and yank you out of that feeling. In fact, I’ve got two such friends — one is a backup just in case one isn’t available because I do have this problem of “pick and fix” the undateables). Stil,  just in case, you get this strong urge to fix something, you can always pick up raw avocados from Pali Market and fix them with the trick I told you and it’ll be guaranteed turn out yummy.