Raksha Bandh-Dhan, writes Sajid Khan

Tomorrow is Raksha Bandhan. Perhaps one of the most symbolic and pious occasions of all times. Timely, and need of the hour, too. When you introduce a girl to someone as your ‘rakhi sister’, it does sound a little tacky in today’s day and age. 

Yeh main nahin bol raha hoon, this has been told to me by one of my rakhi sisters! Just like every rich man fears March 31, every poor man fears school and college admissions for his child, every two-timing guy fears Valentine’s Day, every brother with multiple rakhi sisters fears this day. Nahin samjhe? Samjhata hoon, samjhata hoon.

Same-same tohfe laya

Bhaiyyon aur behenon (ahem, only bhaiyyon) please understand my duvidha. I have one sibling (Farah), five cousins (Zoya, Varsha, Ritu, Sabah, Delnaz), 13 muh-boli sisters (Anvita, Ashwini, Asin, Sneha, Kanika, Sonu, Dipti, Pallavi, Khyaati, Gogay, Rachna, Sarita, Naina) that’s a total of 19 rakhis (i.e 19 expensive gifts to be given every year). So ever since I started earning (2014 onwards!), I have ensured all of them get the same gifts. Sometimes, perfumes…woh bhi designer waale, sometimes, watches (thoda sasta types) and sometimes gift vouchers of shopping websites. Phew!

Aukaat gift se

Nanga nahayega kya aur nichodega kya? Where are those times gone, where one could get away with Parker pens as gifts, aur Linking Road ka fake designer bags? What happened to that saying, ‘Tohfe ki keemat nahi dekhi jaati, dene waale ki neeyat dekhi jaati hai?’ Brotherly love and sisterly affection in today’s day and age also depends on the value of your gift. How much do you love your sister is proved with how expensive your gift is. And even though no sister in the world would admit it but her affection towards the brother also varies according to the gift. Issi liye mere bhaiyyon, gift all of them equal gifts.

Restaurant remedy

I have come up with a very clever plan this year, I’m taking all of them out for lunch, but to a very expensive restaurant. How’s that for a clever plan? Iske piche teen kaaran hain. Pehla, main bhool gaya. Doosra is not that important aur teesra toh aap jaante hi ho.  You see... all my sisters, just like your sisters, are health and weight -conscious. So salads, soups and maximum starters is what they will have. And that is a very acceptable bill to pay for 20 people. Even in a very expensive restaurant.

Majboor bhai

Kaisa laga humra peelaanvaa? I guess I am dreaming. ’Cause I know there is no such thing as a cheap bill in an expensive restaurant. Every brother’s dilemma is when he tells his sister teri laaj main rakhunga. What he gets to keep actually is a large bill. You guys must think kaisa kanjoos bhai hai, I am not a kanjoos bhai, I’m a majboor bhai. Yaar, I am only kidding.

Ties that bind

The truth is I love my sisters unconditionally and no gift’s expense matches up to their love for me. So to all the brothers out there love your sisters, protect them, take care of them, let them always be right even if you know they are wrong. Because there are two shields which protect you from every negativity, your mother’s blessings and your sister’s prayers. So, this Raksha Bandhan, make sure you don’t bandh your dhan while spending on your sisters.