RAINBOW GURU: I like you and I think I'm gay, but I'm not sure.

Dear Sushant,

I like you and I think I'm gay, but I'm not sure. I wanted to meet you personally and have sex with you. I truly think I like guys, but can you give me this experience? I want to be a bottom so please help me. I have to face society!
— Mr Anyone Will Do

Omg! Okay! What? I can't even!

Mr Anyone Will Do, I don't know a nicer way to put this but you need help.

Or maybe not. Maybe you just need to calm down. I'm guessing you have sent this message to a lot of people including me. You got so confused that you actually sent me the message with somebody else's name and then blamed it on auto-correct. It's not new for people to blame their goof-ups and typos on auto-correct but I'm going to side with auto-correct in this case just because...!

So, I'm going to keep this really short. You need to see a counsellor. You need to make some friends and stop worrying about facing society by reaffirming to them and yourself that you are a bottom.

PS – I think I don't get paid enough to go through this (Inverted palm on forehead, Bollywood damsel in distress style).

Write to him at sexualitydna@gmail.com