Outrage pe hum kaayam hai!, writes Priyanka Chaturvedi

There is never a slow news day in India, for which all of us writers, commentators, general-purpose conversation-makers and gyaan- givers should be grateful. Just when I was wondering what to write this week, almost as if on cue, came the news story of how High Court intervention has been sought to seek a ban on the popular game, Pokemon Go! Yes, you read that right; the game that has taken the world by storm is now embroiled in a tsunami proportion outrage in India. The petitioner has sought a ban for hurting religious sentiments because the egg images in the game are placed on temple locations and sites. The petition also calls the game a threat to national security if you please. Also FYI, the case hasn’t been dismissed but rather notices have been issued to the game developer, Niantic and state/central governments. 

Does this happen only in India or is there any other country in the world that can match up with us in feeling offended department just as frequently? If you thought this news was absurd enough there is another story that should be filed in the ‘hum nahin sudhrenge’ category. The police officials in Haryana’s Mewat district, have been asked to collect biryani samples from street vendors to check for beef. The suspicion being that rice is being mixed to hide the meat hence the need to create crack teams to end the beef ‘scourge’ off the Indian Territory! Be warned today it is the biryani sample, tomorrow it could be your stool sample that would be collected to ensure strictest adherence to the beef law of the land. Don’t go around saying chee to that light-hearted, sarcastic suggestion one never knows if someone takes it as a challenge to make it come true, too! 

Meanwhile, iPhone mania is back again as iPhone7 is set for a launch, and am gearing up to see images of people queuing up outside Apple stores to get their hands on the phone. Even if it means selling off a kidney to flash the latest iPhone. Whatever the excitement, I will never get the long queues for buying a phone or for a sale or for a store launch.  This fad has caught on in India too. Recently, a brand launched its first store in the city and I was astonished to see photos of the serpentine queues outside the store waiting to get a chance to shop at the store, ditto for a sale at a store. There were images of long queues across the country for a cheaper data loaded sim card that was recently launched, the excitement of it all amazed me no end. 

The bright side however is that we are learning to queue up and wait for our turn patiently which till recently was unheard of. There is no VIP access like one sees at places of worship or the brazen queue cutting at airport security checks! Phew! There used to be a Hindi saying: Umeed par hi duniya kaayam hai. For India, we can easily modify it to Umeed aur outrage par hi India kaayam hai!