Love is not determined by HIV

On the first of December, The Humsafar Trust led a big rally with the intention of spreading the word about the prevalence of HIV in our society. Of the many things Bombay is proud of, we should add the fact that the Humsafar Trust was born in our city. It offered services to the LGBTIQ community such as HIV counselling and testing services at a time when it was taboo.

I will not play the statistical game; I hate it when we say that we need to stand up for a cause because more people are dying from it. But the fact is that we need to have safe sex. I kid you not. Our MLA sahibs have been caught watching porn in the Assembly, but they don't support sex education. Bechaarey MLAs. They must be thinking sex education is porn. Well it is not. But who will tell them?

So in effect, we are a progressive country with regressive laws… and a populous country that proves that it engages in a lot of sex, but just is too shy to talk about it. The spread of HIV can be controlled only by speaking freely, openly about sex and sexuality; and advocating the use of condoms.

The biggest roadblock is section 377. If having sex is illegal, how do people who have contracted the virus share their medical history with the doctor? And if they don't share from where they have got the virus, how do you reach the network of HIV positive people and advocate the use of condoms so that the virus doesn't spread?

But all is not lost when we have people in our midst who speak despite unfavourable laws that stigmatise them. They become the ray of hope for all those people who are struggling with their HIV status.

I met Gautam Yadav, a young gay boy who is HIV positive. He is the founder member of the youth group Yaariyan by The Humsafar Trust. He was the first person I met who was HIV positive but also Life Positive. He had tamed the virus in his body as much as he had tamed the reactions of people around him. His uninhibited charm has given courage to many people around the world. He is not just a very cute, brave guy though. He is just as close a friend as anyone else. People living with HIV are not super beings, they need to be treated with respect and free of prejudice, not treated like some royalty. They are people. Not a cause.

Speaking of World AIDS Day, I am reminded of our mumbaichi porgi– Jyoti Dhawale Surve, she is a heterosexual woman, married to someone who is not HIV+. They have a healthy love and sex life (yes, it is possible). She is a part of the community Advisory Board of The Well Project which is based in Brooklyn, USA.

She is a little hearing impaired and a person with effervescent energy. She is also HIV+. She contracted the virus due to medical negligence. She now speaks without her speech impairment holding her back. She also bitches and shouts like anyone else. She is the light of every party. She has risen above many challenges — she was a battered woman in an abusive relationship, is disabled and HIV+… but nothing has stopped her from telling her story.

Yesterday, she asked me whether I would like to date one of her friends who is HIV+ positive. I replied "I can go out on a date, if I like him"

Love is not determined by HIV status, Hai naah?