Chamber of (Dirty) Secrets

Why do women always fall for the guy with the guitar, but end up marrying a banker instead?

Because you can expect a rockstar to give you one heck of a night (or, if you are lucky, a few) to remember. But don’t expect him to pay the rent or pick up the kids from school. Chances are, he may even forget he has one or a couple.

Are we then destined to fantasise about the guy who used to burn up the stage and sang of heartbreak while we are in bed, discussing SIP funds with the man who has the whitest set of teeth and most perfectly clipped nails in this part of the world? This is not to say that the banker guy is no good in bed. But even after he has tried his damnedest best to please you, appease you, bought you wine and flowers and Victoria’s Secret lingerie from his recent trip abroad, cooked your favourite meal and invested in the second dream home, you may just find a part of you yearning for an escape into the wild. It is our dirty little secret.

So many women in perfectly coiffed relationships and radiating marriages, find themselves willing to throw it all away for one night of wantonness. That one spell of intimacy with a man who is everything your mamma warned you against — a drifter, dark and dangerous. A heartbreaker. And a bohemian soul. Because being with that person is a reminder and a reaffirmation of your desirability, your ability to spring surprises, be blown away by a few yourself.

It becomes all the more important in a culture where monogamy comes with a fantastic premium. But it is one thing to fall asleep next to a man you know and who loves you. Day after day. What if you want to wake up next to a man who knows a different you? What if you don’t want any emotional baggage, but just to feel the way you did that night when you threw caution to the wind and followed the ‘guy with the guitar’ behind a smoky curtain?

Sex with certainty perhaps does not have the same magic as that with no strings attached. When you know it is not meant to be, you hold on to that feeling forever. Cherish it.

“It was just that one time darling... it did not mean a thing!” So many times we end up belittling a special affair in a bid to defend ourselves, hold it all together.

No wonder then, the ‘guy with the guitar’ is stuck writing songs about heartbreak (which no one really cares about) or slaving away in a cubicle, trying to make a living. While we take off on a family holiday to Europe.

So next time someone tells you: “Baby, I don’t care about your past!” Make sure it remains that way. Because we all need that little escape into the wild every now and then. Our own Chamber of Secrets.

(Scribbler, scribe, traveller — Chandrima Pal takes you through the sexual landscape of today)

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