Chai cold, keytli bold, writes Sajid Khan

I’m sure you’ve heard of the age-old saying: ‘Chai se jyada keytli garam’. What it means is that the tip to the waiter was more than the bill of the food, or that the servicing of the car cost more than the car itself. Or that the entertainment supplements are read more than the main newspaper itself. Nahin samjhe? Samjhata hoon, samjhata hoon.

Saari galti ’plex ki!

We talk of piracy killing the film industry. How only a handful of movies get openings in multiplexes every year? Even though, every week more than three films release, still most patrons in multiplexes avoid going to see them and prefer downloading them. Reason? The multiplexes itself. Huh???!!! How can a multiplex be responsible for less patronage? Great seats, great sound, incredibly small screens (chalta hai) and decent crowd. Toh kya Sajid Khan pagal ho gaya hai? What a ridiculous statement he’s just made, you must be thinking.

Khaana ya khazaana?

But the real culprit in these multiplexes is the food! Kya hai na, no one — and I mean no one — watches a movie without refreshments. Tickets on a weekend are ridiculously expensive ranging between Rs 300 to Rs 1,000 each. But Monday onwards, the ticket rates are slashed by more than 50 per cent and different schemes are offered throughout the week for different shows where even a Rs 1000 ticket costs  Rs 250. But the food prices are still the same! 

Chalo, ek realistic breakdown karte hain, if two people decide to see a film on Friday in a multiplex, the average cost will be around  Rs 700 for two tickets. Two popcorns is Rs 600. Four samosas cost Rs 300. Two beverages: Rs 300. And this is the basic average snack one has during a film. So the total is Rs 700 for two tickets vs  Rs 1,200 for snacks. Monday onwards, it’s Rs 300 for two tickets vs  Rs 1,200 for the snacks. And guess what! The producer/distributor of the film doesn’t get even one paisa from the food counter. It is just the ticket sales. 

An average person, hence, avoids going to see any film knowing for a fact that he is going to be spending a couple of thousands for two people. That’s ridiculous! And these are basic snacks. I’m not even talking about the other snacks — like pizzas, momos, burgers, cakes, hot dogs, ice-creams. Single screens don’t face this problem as they have a fixed ticket rate and fixed snack rate. Two samosas cost  Rs 30 in a single screen vs Rs 150 in a multiplex. That’s five times more. A family of four can watch a movie with full refreshments in a single screen under a thousand rupees. On any day.

The solution

I’m sure multiplex owners are smart enough to realise and tackle the expensive food problem. Ask any patron and he may or may not have an issue with the ticket price of a ’plex compared to a single screen. But he will definitely have an issue paying five times more for food. Hence, many patrons avoid going to see movies and prefer pirated downloads. Unless, of course it’s a big film, which in today’s day and age, is becoming very rare.
So, my humble request to all multiple owners, please lower the price of the food. And you will see the upsurge in ticket sales within a few weeks for most films. Not just big ones. Just remember, piracy will increase if the food price crisis isn’t resolved. Issi liye chai cold, keytli bold.