Breeding into a transphobic culture

This week is Trans Awareness week. My memory jogs back to the time when the first trans people I knew were hijras. I never had a good opinion about them; I blame it on my grandmom.

If I didn’t eat what was served, I would be told “The hijra will take you away.” If I skipped my bath, she would repeat the same. In my young impressionable mind, I thought of hijras as evil people who begged, stole children and did tamashas on the streets. My mother is the best example of passive bad parenting in this regard. She, though very progressive now, quietly witnessed as my prejudiced thinking shaped.

When I grew up, I was told that the curse of a hijra always came true; and that their blessings were God’s word. The result? I never saw them as human beings; I only saw them as a boon or a bane.

I was inquisitive about their body, but there was zero education about it. Ignorance leads to more prejudice. I was told that they have both genitalia—male and female. It took me years to realise what hijras are, and what they have ‘down there.’ Now you can consult Wikipedia or the internet about it. It’s better than asking a hijra, “Do you have a penis or a vagina, or both?”

The time I got inquisitive about the Hijra community was when I realised I was gay. My transphobia came in my way of accepting them as a part of the LGBT collective. I attended events such as film screenings organised by a support group called Gay Bombay which had no trans-people. 

Nevertheless I continued to be wary of even visiting the Humsafar Trust, an LGBTIQ+ support group at Vakola, which had many hijras hanging around. Maybe it was my hijra-phobia, or my super-elite thought process. Anyway, today I am ashamed of the way I thought.

Now I count Gauri Sawant, Laxmi Narayan Tripathi and Abheena Aher among my friends. I consider Urmi Jadhav extended family. They all are hijras. I find them as nasty, as kind, as bitchy and as intelligent as everyone else. I see them as people. I feel The Humsafar Trust breeds equality and I have a place there. I avail of their counselling services as a gay man.

I know stealing money in local trains and harassing people is wrong, but the solution is not to spread vitriol against the community. It is to ensure that they find jobs and means of livelihood. Not as means of tokenism to boast about your equal-for-all policies.

I remember vividly, I used to roll up my window every time I saw them. I realise now that I didn’t stop them from entering my world; I confined myself to my small-mindedness.

Hijras today are a thriving community in Bombay. They have many events you can look out for on social media. You are most welcome to experience their world, which is not so different from ours. So get off your high horses, don’t eat too much bhaav and come.

Aane ka toh welcome, naahi tar bheed kam.