Are marriages made in heaven?

‘Love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage’ went the old Frank Sinatra song. As the week unfolds on May 29, my parents will celebrate their golden jubilee anniversary. In today’s times, there are few lucky couples who do reach that milestone in their lives.

And till date, they are the epitome of the institution in my eyes — of what a couple in love should be. It’s true companionship they have — they are so happy in each other’s company, they don’t need anyone else. Of course, they’ve also had their minor ups and downs, but I’ve never seen them ever fight or argue in front of my brother and me. We’d only learn of it days later, when dad would joke, ‘Arre, tumhari mummy naaraz hai’ and mom would blush and they’d laugh it off.

I’ve always believed in the institution of marriage and their marriage as an example that I wanted to follow. I believed I, too, would find my soulmate and I did, touchwood. And when I look around and see the disintegration of many marriages that I thought would definitely stand the test of time, I am sad. 2016 brought with it a wave of many announced separations and divorces — many are from the circle of people and couples whom we know, some who seemed inseparable and so much in love. I wonder where that love goes...

Many a time, people ask me if I think marriage is made up of adjustment and tolerance. I tell them that if you feel it’s adjustment, you probably don’t love the person you are with, as I would want to do something to make my partner happy. Seeing him happy, would make me happy, so how is it an adjustment? But this has to be equal and a two-way street. If it’s one-sided, the relationship is in trouble.

It’s easy to pass judgment, but what happens between two people and why they drift apart is only between them. Communication is the key. I believe every problem can be sorted out once you have decided that your relationship is for keeps. Couples can work out their issues if they want to be together... If either of them thinks that this is not a forever deal, then no amount of counselling or sorting can help.

The worst affected in a divorce are the children. Celebrity couples busy washing their dirty linen in public, try to malign each other with the absurdest of accusations. At times like these, I wonder if they stop to think at all what their children must go through among their peers at school, when other kids make fun of them, their innocent lives torn apart by squabbling parents.

Where’s the stability in their lives? At times like these, I wish better sense prevails and the separation is done in a respectable and dignified manner. In some instances, it’s been better and is a new lease of life for some couples who are just not made for each other. These are nice people when on their own, but together they are a complete disaster. I think it’s better that these people part ways and live and let live. Give themselves another chance and be happier, the second time around. As they say, zindagi na milegi dobaara ...