Christmas on a tram!

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

A: Can you smell carrots?

I giggle silly over this joke printed on an inch-size note that falls out of my red-and-white striped Christmas cracker. An orange paper crown and a tiny surprise – a bottle opener, also tumble out. Across the table, my travel mate has worn her green crown and is also fussing over her tiny gift – a thumb-size notebook with a disco-ish cover. Seconds ago, before the crackers arrived, I was in a dilemma. Should I down the chilled glass of bubbly or the warm mulled wine? Maybe, that's why the paper crown's here? A thinking hat!

Pardon my delirium, but we're onboard The Colonial Tramcar Restaurant in Melbourne and celebrating Christmas in July! Every Sunday of this month is a Christmas special for those wanting old-fashion vibes, turkey and pudding. Well, it's perfect weather because we're in the thicket of winter as a typical Australian December is 40 degrees of sunburn.

The tram services began in November 1982 on Melbourne Cup – annual horserace, is today Melbourne's third touristy thing-to-do. Advertised as the world's first travelling tramcar restaurant, the glossy red tram in gold finery fits two 36-seater saloons, doling breakfast, lunch and dinner all seven days on prior appointment.

I feel sucked into a time capsule inside the tram, watching Melbourne on-the-move from my window that's framed by tassels of old-fashioned velvet drapes, while I sit snug on pintuck seats under the mellow light from antique wall lamps, and indulge in a five-course meal. We go from Spencer Street through South Melbourne, Albert Park and St Kilda before turning back – a view that transforms from skyscrapers to Edwardian cottages with white picket fences, with glimpses of street art, as we go a bit slo-mo than the rest of Melburnian traffic so we don't spill our drinks.

Reading the menu before the food arrives has me already salivating for the Christmas pudding, listed as 'A homemade treat loaded with currants, sultanas, dates and glazed cherries, showered with delicious brandy custard.' But the excitement dissipates when in walks the entrée – a roast beef serving with zucchini, chive and mustard dressing, then follows the mains – thick turkey and ham slices dunked in brown sauce with a side of baby potatoes, French beans, veggies and cranberry sauce, and finally the petit fours – Christmas trees shaped shortbread in green and red frostings. Comrades indulging in a traditional vegetarian meal get a pumkin veloute and goats cheese tortellini, sage and brioche pangritato, eggplant and mushrooms for mains, a selection of cheeses with dried figs and fruit loaf, and date pudding with vanilla pannacotta for dessert.

To make sure we find our legs after that luxurious gobbling, the tram halts at Albert Park before the main course. And surprise! A very loud Santa who doesn't 'ho ho ho' away but sings jingles – or we believe those were jingles – unheard off, but we're too lightheaded and merry from all the drinking. We get off to stroll and take photo ops with Santa, before jumping back on. It can feel a bit cramped inside, especially if you're on the healthy side and want to visit the washroom that is on the tiny side.

But heck, even the Melburnians love their tram eatery. You'll find countless photos of weddings and pre-wedding shoots, anniversaries, birthdays, soirées, girlie nighters and even mother's day celebrations on the tram's social media pages. In a serendipitous move by fate, on my table to the right are the jolliest two onboard, Peter and Tom. They quote the maître d' word-by-word, clap hardest for the attendant in charge of refilling our drinks, down their alcohol like water, heckle each other, hello Santa like an old mate, and pretend to be surprised by every surprise. Peter is 72 and Tom is about the same age, and have boarded this tram 48 times! "Yeah, we're pretty antique ourselves so this (the tram) is quite appropriate," jokes Tom, a part-time school teacher, who's been friends with Peter since 1979. Peter used to run dining cars to go around Victoria with meals and dining on the move is their favourite thing to do. Tom even had a plan to visit India and get on the Darjeeling Himalayan Toy Train, but his health did not permit. "We know the staff very well, and love meeting people here. I once met this sweet old woman, who saved up for a year to treat herself to this Christmas ride," says Peter.

Like all good things come to end with a hic, we hop off at Tramstop # 125 Normanby Road – also our starting point, having ticked off every little box that makes Christmas – gifts, Santa, carols, and food – with a happy high.

To book a seat on this colonial ride visit – http://tramrestaurant.com.au/