My experiments with temples

Pranaams Guruji,
Hare Ram!

I write this to you out of desperation.
After the death of my grandparents, I inherited a temple that is supposed to be thousands of years old. I wanted to experience the bliss of being a part of a vedic temple. I had a doubt though. What if this is a temple that was demolished and rebuilt by one of those 'other religions'. What if this temple had 'impure people' visit it in the past? So, I wanted to test and find out if this is indeed a genuine, agmark vedic temple.

To do so, I tried to reverse check the properties of a good temple that you popularised. For example, the temple must be situated in a position that has maximum magnetic field density. I checked with several physicists on how I can test this out and they told me I don't understand school level physics. It was humiliating.
I checked with particle physicists to test if the temple's particles had positive vibrations. They mocked me and cut the call.

I used a magnetometer to see if I am getting increased magnetic activity when I walk around the idol. I saw no change in the readings.
I asked doctors and biotechnologists if the temple jewels cured people of diseases and they told me I should get a job and move on.

After being rejected by various so called scientists on every single claim, I finally went and met Gurujis who are currently building temples. They told me that I should clear as much forest land as possible and use that space for my idols. They said I can claim to be in a peaceful location by doing this. They also told me that the benefits of a temple drastically increase proportional to the height of the idol. They even had techniques to popularise temples.
I'm terribly lost Guruji. Kindly guide me to find the right way to check the quality of my temple. I saw your speech on TV and even state leaders attended your temple openings. Only you can help me Guruji.

Regards,
Jagaboga Majpur

Guruji's reply...
My Child,

Hare Ram.
Mainstream science has always been against our glorious vedic science. Our science works on faith and theirs work on "logic and empirical evidence". Almighty guided you rightly to me. Before we proceed with this divine venture, please transfer a simple donation to my trust fund, Rumpum foundation by tomorrow as it is an auspicious day. As a first step, do buy my book Vedic Temples and Where to Find Them, available on my website. My inner consciousness tells me that you should sprinkle gomutra liberally before their arrival. I will send my skilled alternative scientists armed with powerful mantras to perform the Poojas, once we receive the donation. Kindly contact my office for further details.

Ayushmaan Bhavah!

Bajji Gasdev
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