Baywatch Review: Amateurish and banal writing makes you feel sorry for stellar cast

Baywatch 
Cast: Dwayne Johnson, Priyanka Chopra, Zac Efron, Alexandra Daddario, Jon Bass, Charlotte McKinney 
Director: Seth Gordon 
Rating: 2 stars 

What's it about: 

The popular opinion on the street is that Baywatch is all about women in bikinis running slow mo to the tunes of a thumping beat. But there is more to this 90s TV show than skin show and adrelanien rush. The risk of making a big screen adaptation of a cult show is that there is no in between, the pendulum can swing either way and unfortunately for this 2017 sexed up version of the beach show the needle swings to the danger zone. Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron lead the pack of the lifeguards who have the job of keeping their beach clean from the thugs and goons. Priyanka Chopra is the nemesis who has her eyes set on making the beach her own to let the drug business thrive. There isn't much of a plot in Baywatch. Think of it like an overproduced glossy music video that fails to stay true to the hype of its teaser. 

What's hot: 

Priyanka Chopra's character of Victoria Leeds is the only  person worth investing your time in. She is sassy, sexy, unpredictable and a woman in control. Her scenes with Dwayne work simply because she knows how to use that irresistible charm with such ease. Zac's banter with Dwayne and their awakward camaraderie is endearing. Even though the writing is super predictable and the dialogues cringe worthy, watching these two goof around will bring an instant smile to your face. David Haselhoff and Pamela Anderson's cameos take you down memory lane and you can't help but get nostalgic when the theme music starts playing in the background.

What's not: 

The issue with Baywatch is that it's a confused film. It doesn't know what it wants to do with the original show. Director Seth Gordon is unsure for most of the part on whether he wants to go the 22 Jump Street Way or go ahead and make a sexy action flick. The writing is so amateurish and banal that you feel sorry for the stellar star cast. The sexual innuendos and jokes are cringe worthy and make you uneasy. Despite the ensemble that boasts of well chisseled torsos and bikini babes the beauty on screen never really wows you. In a time when the bar for humour is defined by some first rate stand up acts and Saturday Night Live, the writers of Baywatch seem stuck in a bad joke time wrap they refuse to come out of.

What to do: 

If silly penis and boob jokes are your thing then Baywatch might get you a chuckle otherwise reruns of the original should be worth your while.