Give children a life

Bringing up children is not easy in today’s world. Life for them is tough, and we need to soften their struggle with a little bit of understanding and support to give them a sense of security. Also, help them smoothen out the sharp edges of the harsh realities and peer pressure they face today. Many of us today think that giving them freedom makes us good parents. We think we are modern and liberal. But they will know what to do with freedom only if they know what discipline is and what values in life mean. It is our job to ensure that both are there in equal measure.

One of the reasons why there is no discipline today is because parents have so little time to devote to their child. When they do have the time, they try to wash of their guilt by being liberal and allowing tantrums. Whatever time you have with children, ensure that it is quality time where love, togetherness, discipline and a value system reign. Just talking to a child on a daily basis on various issues teaches them more than they can ever learn at school.

There was one thing that always intrigued me in college. I had a close friend, Sunil Brijkrishan, with whom I often had heated arguments on various topics. I always found that he had the right arguments that were logical and well thought out. One day, I asked him how he managed to do that. He wickedly laughed and said he was just smarter than me. But towards the end of the day, he told me the truth — actually all the arguments that I had were also his arguments. After all, we were peers at a Pune college and thought similarly. But the logical arguments he threw at me were his dad’s thoughts that were usually discussed daily at the dinner table. How many parents today talk to their children on issues? There is very little handholding. We need to gently help them tell the right from the wrong. We also need to set personal examples of moral courage and integrity.

But we should not resort to speeches. This generation has no respect for lectures. We just need to talk gently and not force our opinions on them. Give them the independence to think and act and also to take responsibility for their actions. Then, they will naturally be more amenable to ideas and cautious with what they do.

Ramesh Menon is a journalist and corporate trainer.