Aniruddha Guha reviews: 'Jism 2' has ham, cheese and breasts

Film: Jism 2
Director: Pooja Bhatt
Cast: Sunny Leone, Randeep Hooda and Arunoday Singh
Rating: *

Jism 2 is hybrid cinema. A sort of B-grade sex thriller meets patriotic drama meets intense love story meets spoof. The film is all of the above and none of them. It also falls under a category much cherished by film lovers – the So Bad It’s Good variety. In the past few years, Prince, Haunted 3D and Players have made it to the illustrious list of films that are terrible, yet terribly entertaining. Jism 2 is a fitting addition.

Two of the films mentioned above have Arif Zakaria is them. The actor played the rapist who turns into a ghost and then rapes the ghost of the woman he raped when he was alive in Haunted 3D.

In Jism 2, Zakaria plays an ‘Intelligence Bureau head’, who starts talking really loudly all of a sudden and then asks people around him to calm down. This review is dedicated to Zakaria, who does more than porn star Sunny Leone to sizzle up Jism 2 in ways you can’t imagine.

Here’s a sample: Our IB head meets Izna (Leone), a porn star who I suspect has an acute asthma problem. Her doctor, it seems, advised Izna to heave her bosom to and fro in a motion that facilitates normal breathing. But Zakaria makes her asthma act up with every line he says to her. His first line to her doesn’t just stump Izna, but leaves you gasping for breath too: “Humein khufiyan agencies ‘Agency’ ke naam se jaanti hai.”

He then continues to inform Izna about dreaded terrorist Kabir (Hooda), who works with “sleeper cell networks” but was an IB officer before he turned desh ka gaddar. “He was the best” Zakaria tells her with a leer, making you wonder what he’s talking about exactly.

Then Zakaria reveals his master plan – she has to go “Kabir ke kareeb”. “Tumhein uske saath sub kuch karna hai” with a special emphasis on ‘sub kuch’. At some point during the scene, he slips in the words ‘bedroom’, “Zurich ka psychiatrist” and “Galle pe apna thikana banaya hai”, all of which drives Izna into a tizzy, her chest moving at the speed of Usain Bolt on a race track now.

“Why” asks IB officer number 2 (Singh), who has a weird thing going with the IB head too – at one point in the film the two just scream a lot at each other. “Why have you chosen her for the job?” And then Zakaria spills the beans. “Kyunki Kabir and Izna – they were in louve. Unka serious affair tha.” Your eyes are fixed on Leone’s bosom, moving at mindboggling speed right now.

Izna then has a heart-to-heart with IB officer number 2. She talks about how Kabir quenched her “pyaas” and that they have a “janmo janmo ka rishta”. Finally, Izna meets “Mulk ka sabse bada dushman” Kabir, who lives in a bungalow called… wait for it… WHY. Our man Kabir’s a philosopher-cum-killer-cum-terrorist, and spouts Kabir ki vaani and old Hindi songs from time to time. But in the words of the great Zakaria, “He’s an ass-ass-in.”

Jism 2, then, has it all – ham, cheese and breasts. If that’s not your idea of entertainment, what is?