What about the evil 'bahu'?

For years they’ve been haunting television and movie screens, making life miserable for their daughters-in-law — but now a group of real mothers-in-law have decided they’ve had enough of this lopsided depiction. And it might just trigger a movement. The idea took root over a cup of chai on an ordinary Bengaluru afternoon when a group of friends decided to do something about the one common thing they were all subject to — daughter-in-law abuse!

For one of the co-founders of the group, Meera Thuliya, it was an idea whose time had come. “We are all victims and often shared our problems with each other. Then one day we just decided to do something about it.” That led to the formation of AIMPF (All India Mother-in-law Protection Forum) a week ago and it is already getting up to 30 calls a day on its helpline. “We also get international calls from as far away as Russia and London,” she adds.

Meera says that while brides are protected by the strict anti-dowry laws and file cases, the in-laws have no recourse. “Blame the saas-bahu serials that have always shown the mother-in-laws as a vamp. Why don’t these serials show the other side of the coin? Do you know that research by the National Family Health Survey (NFHS) shows that women face the most violence from their own mothers. The thing is, when they get married they simply vent their frustration on their in-laws,” she says.

Co-founder of AIMPF Tahira Shiggaon adds that they plan to take the Forum to different cities as well. “We also plan to approach TV producers and film-makers and ask them to rectify the image of the mother-in-law.”

Actor Sudha Chandran who has been playing an evil saas for the past eight years says she’d welcome the change. “It would be great,” she exclaims. “I’ve been so bad for so long now, I’d like to be a good saas.” Sudha agrees that TV, especially, has created a sympathy vote for the daughter-in-law. “She’s someone who has to fight evil and the very word mother-in-law has come to represent that evil,” she states.

Actor Apara Mehta who has played a mother-in-law with different shades opines that women today would not be affected by a serial or film. “They’re a different lot; they’re working girls who do not want to make many adjustments. Often, they do not want to live in joint families. Why blame serials?” she asks. Would she continue to play the wicked mother-in-law? “Sure,” she enthuses. “It’s just a role and I enjoy it.”

Sums up yesteryear vamp Bindu, “The mother-in-law is always shown as a bad person and I feel it affects the minds of people. The amount of domestic violence shown on screen — in all forms — must be cut down.”