Review: The blade of this ninja is blunt

Film: Ninja assassins
Director: James McTeigue
Screenplay: Matthew Sand and J Michael Straczynski
Cast: Rain, Naomie Harris, Sho Kosugi
Rating: * ½  

The producers of the film, the Wachowski brothers (makers of the Matrix trilogy) were apparently so dissatisfied with the original script of the film that they hired J Michael Straczynski to write a new draft. Straczynski, wanting to help his friends, is said to have gone home that night and written a whole new script in 57 hours flat. Now wasn’t that quick? Well it kind of tells in the film.

When you watch Ninja Assassins, it reminds you of two movies, Passion of the Christ and Kill Bill 1, for very different reasons. The number of times the protagonist Raizo (Rain) is beaten, flogged and cut is reminiscent of the treatment Christ was meted out in Passion… and he even looks like him, what with all the blood. But it doesn’t stop at that.

Raizo takes the blows, gets up, flicks his hair and beats the s*** out of the villains. It’s a concert of violence. There hasn’t been so much blood-spattering, so much limb and head-severing since The Bride (in Kill Bill) decided to pick up her Hanzo sword.

There is enough violence to satiate the bloodlust of fans of the martial art variety, with ninja swords, weapons with chains and a sickle-like knife attached to it (Rain’s favourite) and whizzing ninja stars. Not to forget the explosion of blood, whenever a person is cut. And not just any blood, but digital blood which makes a nice contrast to the dark surroundings.

The film is entertaining till the ‘ninja violence’ lasts, but any movement elsewhere and it starts lagging. To talk of the tardy script, the secret society of Ozunu Clan has been supplying ninja killers to any government that supplies them with money.

Europol agent Mika Coretti (Naomie Harris) discovers this, which is not good for her because not only for a short duration the FBI, CIA, and what not is after her, but also the ninjas. However, as luck might have it Raizo, a former ninja of the clain is determined to fight them. The reason—The ninjas have slain his sweetheart in front of him.

As long as the frame is on the fights, the film is alright. But the other sub-plots of Coretti’s investigation just fails to pass any muster. There are also many references to bank accounts, political assassinations, the FBI and CIA’s involvement, but none of them are substantiated at all.

What also to an extent goes against the film is the taking of itself too seriously. In the opening scene itself, a frightened old man can’t get himself to utter the word ‘ninja’. Such is the reverence and fear that director James McTeigue (V for Vendetta) wants us to have for the ninja. Sadly there is no script, no story to hold all the action together.