I don't know if I'm in love: Bipasha Basu

Bipasha Basu is literally glowing when I meet her after more than a year. Glowing because she is in love? The otherwise honest, bubbly actress is cagey about talking about the man in her life, Harman Baweja, with whom she’s been spotted at least half-a-dozen times in over a month. We catch up with what’s happening in her life over a warm cup of coffee. Read between the lines...

Recently you have been spotted a lot with close friend Harman Baweja. Are you more open about your relationship now?
Maybe it means that I have now more time to meet people (laughs). After coming back from London I got a few days off. I really don’t understand what is happening to our country. There are photographers everywhere! Honestly, I am a very free person but it’s little exhausting to come out and find the paparazzi. One is not always dressed well. It’s getting a little tiring for me but that doesn’t mean I will stop doing what I want to do. The sad part is why single out one person? There was Rocky, Beenal, Soham, Pauline and Munai. We all left together but the article was about Harman and me. Even Gattu was there with his friends...

Now you are seen more in his company...
Never alone! I am always with a lot of people...

Are you consciously trying not to be spotted alone?
No! I always like to do group things and go out in groups. Catch me alone and then ask me (winks and laughs loudly). Chalo it’s an open challenge.

Why the secrecy...
I don’t know. Rocky is with me all the time so why don’t you link me with him?

Let’s come back to Harman...
When I am ready to say something I will say it. These are very sensitive questions. As you said when you’re mature you have to handle everything in your life more maturely so if I need or feel I want to speak about something, I will...

At the Diwali party, apparently Harman played host?
He did? Really?

Yes and Shahid Kapur and Milind Soman were also present. People speculated how well you get along with all your exes...
Shahid, Milind are all are part of my group. I always believe that people in life come and go for a reason. Definitely there are some very strong bonds you make — like I have with Dino (Morea) and Milind. We love each other but it’s a different kind of love and respect. These people will be a part of my life forever. I am very good at making friends and keeping them. Only a few people we choose to get out of our lives for good.

Has your past made you wary about talking about your relationships?
Yes! I used to be a very open person earlier but I am very protective about myself now. And I have a right to be like this as I have to care and look after myself. So whether it’s my integrity, respect, heart, love — I have to be protective about it.

So what is Harman to you?
A good friend! (sees my disbelief and laughs) I’m kidding with you! This is the problem with me. I can’t get serious. I can’t categorise. He’s a friend, a great guy, I get along well with him... We will see what happens in life.

Are you in love...
I don’t know... I can’t figure myself right now... It’s a bad idea to say that I am in love. At some point I have to be. I am a very difficult person to figure and right now I am not giving myself too much attention. I am a very loving person. With time I can get attached to anything but making a big statement would be premature for me.

But you are not in love right now?
(Long pause) I don’t know... I never really thought about it...

Earlier you used to be so open your relationships...
Life has to be different no? You have to be careful. When I am in love I will tell you. You look troubled by me... (laughs) Don’t be. I am a simple girl but just that right now, I am careful about my personal space and protective about myself.

Marriage on the cards?
If I happen to feel that moment with someone that I need to take it a step forward I will. But right now I can’t say that I am getting married. There have been lot of marriage rumours about me. I read them and I get scared as I feel I will be a runaway bride. My mom will be very happy if I get married but it’s such a big step. You can’t rush into it. I will get married one day and have one baby and after marriage only.

Have you and Harman met each other’s parents?
Whose parents? What are these questions? Right now I am not in a space to answer these questions.

Could you fall in love with an actor again?
Yes. I could because that’s the line of business that people understand each other the most.

Especially when you are a woman like me who is very strong-willed, strong-minded, confident and travelling all the time, I am also a very friendly girl. Today, I won’t bend or change my ways for any insecurity of my man. I will make friends and my man has to understand and respect me. To understand a girl like me takes a lot and if you are an actor he will understand me better because we share the same work and respect it too.

You seem in a happier, calmer space than when you were a year ago (which is when she met Harman)...
I used to be very short-tempered four years back. It was all because I was going through a very hard time in my personal life. I have been a happy soul for the last three years. And everybody around me knows that from my family to friends. I guess it’s a state of mind at this point of time when everything is very balanced. I have no negativity in my life. Nothing is pulling me down or making me question myself about my life or making me feel bad for a moment. I enjoy and love the person I am. I enjoy the fact that I can provide happiness to everyone around me. I don’t want to think heavy and intense stuff now.

Have you ever felt insecure? 
Insecurity is a fragile human emotion. Every single human being goes through that. You want to be there forever. You don’t want to lose all the fame, success and adulation. I did feel insecure but it was reflecting more from my personal space which was leaving a dark shadow on my professional front. It was just before I signed Raaz 3. I went through that but it just stemmed from the fact that my life was changing. As a girl I had lived my life in a particular way. For it to change completely and come to terms with it and everything around it...

it was a bit of scary. Suddenly I was single, suddenly there were too many men proposing, asking me out. I look like a very brave girl but inside I was very scared. When people would ask me out I used to be like why? later I started enjoying it. My friends and family who are my support system, helped me to get over that dark phase. But I think I came out of that space brilliantly. You have to find your own strength.

I believe
Life is beautiful

Most amazing actor... Susan Sarandon and Al Pacino

I live to... Laugh. I love to laugh

Love... is everything to me. I am a very loving person

Sex is... Important. Imperative

Freedom is... A necessity for everyone

Happiness is.. One of my ambitions and always a priority

Plastic surgery is... As many discussions will happen about it if you are going to bodily correct things which God has given you there will always be a downside which the world may not know but you will have to face, so you have to do it smartly. In today’s times people are abusing it

I wish I was... Sometimes SRK or Salman Khan so I would be a cool rockstar and command the business

I live for... Myself

I think... A lot and it doesn’t make sense even after thinking!

My most cherished moment... When my youngest sister Bijoyeta was born and I thought I got a doll and I named her Gudiya. I still call her that. She is the love of my life

My biggest fear is... Ghost or spirits. I am petrified of darkness and ghosts

My biggest asset is... My personality

My phone... I hardly talk to people

My first crush... Keanu Reeves after I saw Speed. He was my husband I used to say

My fave delicacy... Bengali food like kosha mangsho luchi, alu poshto daal, praws malakari

I crave... All the Indian mithais like laddoos, all Bengali mishtis etc