Rumour has it! Writes Sarita Tanwar

Remember that song Rumours (by Timex Social Club) from the 80s? it went something like this: How do rumours get started, they’re started by the jealous people and they get mad seein’ something they had and somebody else is holding…

Well that’s just the half of it. Rumours are not just started by jealous people. They are also started by mean people (mad at the world for some reason), petty people (sad life), idle people (nothing better to do), people with mental problems (my sympathies) and idiots (you know who you are). I have heard some fantastically twisted tales in my time, (I even featured in some) which people have tried to pass off as the truth. Even now, so many years after I first heard them, these bizarre rumours keep propping up. Random people keep asking, “Is this/that true?” I am going to put these rumours to rest once and for all.

Yeh Shaadi Nahin Ho Sakti

High on the list is when this cub reporter came rushing into my work space looking elated. She dropped a bomb, “I have a big scoop.” Everyone in the newsroom gathered around. She whispered, “A top actress was married to this old actor at the beginning of her career. No one knows about it. My source has confirmed it.” We all screamed together, “Who?” “Urmila Matondkar and Alok Nath,” she said. Everyone fell on the floor laughing. The reporter was most hassled that we didn’t believe her or her source. To make her feel better, I promised that I’d print her article if her source went on record. Of course her “industry source” wanted to remain anonymous. She felt I was being unfair. She refused to believe that someone was pulling a fast one on her, and remained adamant. So I told her, “Fine, get confirmation from Alok Nath or Urmila, then I will carry it.” Obviously, she wasn’t able to get through them. She requested a senior reporter, known to the actress, to get a quote from her. The senior reporter thought the actress too would have a good laugh and called the actress. But she didn’t see the humour in the situation and blew her lid. To this day, Urmila hasn’t spoken to her.

Woh Lamhe

I don’t know how far this is true, but this story has been doing the round for the last decade. 2006 to be precise, and is now gaining prominence again. So the urban legend is, when Kangana Ranaut acted in Woh Lamhe, a story base on the life of actress Parveen Babi, her relationships and her mental issues, an astrologer told her to go to Parveen’s grave and leave flowers there and apologise. Kangana, of course, refused, because she felt she was just doing her job and hadn’t done anything wrong. Now, in the last few months, there are whispers in the industry that her recent controversy with a top actor is reminiscent of what happened to Parveen and her obsession with a top actor in her time. Eerie, right?

Pati, patni aur woh

This rumour has been never been published in any newspaper or magazine but it has reached even the ears of the aam aadmi. It has been repeated so many times, that is widely accepted as a true story now. Even though there is not a shred of evidence to it. The rumour goes how this top married actor married his actress girlfriend somewhere in the Middle East and how they have a home together there. Because of my job, my friends, relatives, acquaintances, and even strangers think it is perfectly acceptable to ask me what is gong on in the lives of their fav star. And sooner or later, they come to this couple, “They are married no? Tell na, everyone knows.” Well, I don’t know. I wasn’t there. I haven’t seen wedding pictures, or know anyone who was there. Yes, but like everyone else in the world, I have heard about it. But that doesn’t make it true.

Bade miyan, chote miyan

Everyone is close to someone and are privy to some of their bedroom secrets. Guys are not the only ones that talk. Chandler Bing (of Friends) discovered this long ago — women discuss size, girth, technique. So according to boudoir tales, this married actor who is hardly ever in the news for affairs (because he’s d-i-s-c-r-e-e-t), is well-endowed. This rumour has reached mythical proportions (pun probably intended) Everyone talks about this as if they have personally done a chaddi-check (a term I picked up from the recently released Ki and Ka). Journalists, actresses and even actors have at some point discussed this. Yes, I have heard about it. No, I cannot confirm it. On the flip side is this bulky actor, who has been cheated in the nether regions department. Well, he is said to have slept with a writer from a fashion magazine. But then he never called her back, so could it be a revenge tactic? But then, a stylist who (un)dressed him for a film shoot swears this rumor is true. Sanu ki!?

Aadmi Hoon, Aadmi Se Pyaar Karta Hoon

And finally... “This lovely, married power couple — actor and actress — who are totally devoted to each other and have never been in the news for any affair since they tied the knot, are hiding a secret. Well, at least, he is.” According to this wild rumour, he is attracted to the same sex. I call BS. He has been linked to several women before they got married. Besides, there is no evidence that he prefers men. His only connection to the gay community is that he supports them, and one time, long ago, he was named as a gay icon. This utterly ridiculous rumour was probably started by his ex or her family. This is totally rubbish.