'Kya body hai!'

In the recent issue of GQ, Shobhaa De asks Karan Johar, “Are there interesting men in India?”

Offended, I turn to my wife and say, “What does she mean? How many men does she know? I am very interesting! I can do interesting things with my lips and my fingertips!”
She looks at me suspiciously and asks, “Like what?”

I promptly start running my fingers over my lips, making strange noises. She is disgusted but points to a newspaper picture of Aamir Khan flaunting his brand new muscles and says, “He’s an interesting man!”

I shrug my shoulders and get down on the floor to do a hundred push-ups. I admire Aamir Khan and I’ve been aspiring to be like him in my own little ways by emulating his ability to walk the talk. But now he’s gone and done something outrageous - got himself a six-pack!

My trainer at the gym says I could easily get a six-pack.

“Sure,” I reply, “there’s a beer bar in my  neighbourhood!”

He suggests a strict diet of soups, salads, sprouts, egg whites, paneer, fruits and low-fat recipes. “This will require a cook and a separate kitchen,” I protest. “Do you know that my family is not as concerned about my six-pack at the dinner table as it is about who will finish the rice, roti and sabzi so that there are no leftovers shoved into the refrigerator?”

Meanwhile, the promos of Dostana show John Abraham emerging from the sea like … Ursula Andress in Dr No? Bo Derek in 10? No, like Daniel Craig in Casino Royale!
Gone are the days when James Bond epitomised a guy in a Saville Row suit. Now 007 is half-naked Craig in his swimming trunks!

As the six-pack mania sweeps tinsel town, Kishore Namit Kapoor and Subhash Ghai are considering turning their respective acting schools into gyms where Bollywood aspirants would be taught how to emote with their butt and biceps!

But wait… didn’t funnyman Dave Barry once say the world would be dull if all of us had the same kind of body? “We’d be like ants,” he pointed out. “If you’ve taken a close look at a batch of ants, you’ve probably noticed they’re all equally attractive! You never see fat ants or buxom ants… They all have identical, perfect little ant bodies, and consequently they find each other boring!”

Perfect excuse to stop doing push-ups! I guess that would make me interesting!