IPL or I-Pill?, writes Sajid Khan

Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, ‘Why the long face?’

‘Arre yaar, ek level down aata hoon,’ he replies.

Man to doctor: ‘Doc, I got up in the morning, looked in the mirror and threw up. Could it be my stomach?’

Doc without checking him, replies, ‘I don’t know about your stomach, but your eyesight is perfect.’

Yaar, yeh column hai ya 80s ki koi joke book? Hold on, hold on... I’m, just warming up.

There is this couple in my friend circle. They got married recently after four years of living-in. Don’t try to make any guesses, guys... a lot of my friends are non-filmy. Let’s call them Lucy and Ben. Lucy loves Ben, more than anything else in the world. Well, almost... you see, cricket doesn’t count. 

Every year, during the IPL, something happens to him, or so she says. IPL is his mistress. Initially, when they started living-in together, he would pretend to pay attention to her during the matches. Now even the fake pretence is out.

And all this was not light party banter. She really was upset and confessed to me that he has changed and I was like, ‘What! After marriage?’ She replied, ‘Since the last two seasons of IPL, since we both work, we used to come home by around 7 pm, freshen up, either step out for a movie or dinner or stay home. But now, that doesn’t happen. His cricket matches start at 8 pm and go on till 12 midnight and by then, I am fast asleep. We don’t even do it anymore!’

Shocked to hear that, I went into deep thought and told her, “Isn’t that what marriage is all about?” She slapped me and said, ‘Obviously, you will take your friend’s side. You love cricket, too.’ And I was like, ‘Which man doesn’t?’ 

Statistics have proved that most relationships face problems during the IPL and World Cup matches. Not so much during football matches (’cause most women find footballers hotter than cricketers). So in April and May, you don’t really need the I-Pill. You’ve got IPL. So to all the women who are upset with their men, I just wanna say, ‘Forgive them, for they know not….who’s gonna win!’