Show them new horizons, help them deal with failure

What makes young people so unable to bear frustration? Despairing after being unable to gain admission to a medical college, Akshantha Kishore, 18, hanged herself on Tuesday, at her Binny Layout residence in Vijayanagar. Dr Shyam Bhat, consultant psychiatrist, Manipal Hospital, spoke to DNA about what drives young people to the edge, and what could be done to read the signs right and take remedial action.

Are there ways in which one can tell whether a student is depressed and contemplating something like putting an end to life?
Parents could look out for new physical ailments like body pain, stomach ache, nausea or head ache. Also, the sleep-awake cycle gets disturbed; the child tends to use the internet much more. Sometimes, a loss of appetite and irritability is observed. There is also much less interest in doing things that previously aroused enthusiasm. These are signs parents might notice. Usually, adolescents manage to put up a brave front before friends, even as they go through trouble. Again, it also depends on the nature of the friendship.

The incidence of suicide among those below the age of 30 is increasing dramatically in India. It is now estimated to be 10 times more than in the western world.

Would you please explain what parents could do to reduce stress in the children as examinations approach or as results of tests are declared?
Parents should offer children perspective in these matters, and widen their horizons. Students should be able to see that there is a world beyond the one particular exam or field of interest that they wish to pursue. Excelling in academics alone need not be the sole goal of a young person. Some of the pressure can be eased if students could be urged to consider a range of options available to them. Also, parental expectations should not be such that children feel rejected if they fail in an examination.

If children find it hard to talk such matters with parents, who could they approach?
Many schools these days have counsellors and therapists. If parents have reason to think that there is a problem, they should encourage the child to see a counsellor. In case the institute does not have such facilities, parents should bring the child to a psychotherapist. In case the stress is mild, even speaking with a relative, a grandparent or an uncle might make things easier for the child to bear.

Do you think examining authorities like KEA could do something in the matter?
Schools should take the initiative to train faculty members to deal with such situations. Rudeness in a child is a symptom of maladjustment. Authorities like the KEA could make the testing procedure less daunting by having several tests through the year rather than one major make-or-break one.