A father’s moment of truth

Every once in a while, each one of us hits a moment when we pause and wonder about our existence, our relationships. For PK Srihari, additional commissioner in the income tax department in Tamil Nadu, that moment hit home last Friday noon.

He sent me, and a handful of his friends, a mail with the subject line: “First mail to my son”. I opened the mail expecting a forward, though curious because he’s not the sort to send forwards – any kind of forwards. I take the liberty to put down here a few snatches from that email.

“Today I sent my first email to my son. It was a video clip about friendship between a dog and a dolphin. After sending out the mail, I had this peculiar feeling about my son who was growing up too fast. Eleven years ago, when I first met him in Pondicherry three days on his arrival to this world, he opened his eyes, looked at me and smiled! Having spent two days with him, I returned to Bengaluru. On the way back, I was trying to understand the promotion God has given me. From being a brash youngster I now had to play the role of a serious father.

“Back in Bengaluru and at work, I became restless. I longed to see him and hold him. Finally, I committed the mistake every neo father makes (or so said my doctor-brother in law). I phoned my wife and told her I miss our son. My wife listened and kept the phone down without any response. Much later, my brother-in-law called me to say my wife cried after my phone call to her. He told me to talk to her and console her about my love for her. I needed to tell her that it was she, after all, who gave birth to this bundle of joy. I did that. Thereafter, I have enjoyed every single moment of my relationship with my son, at the same time, making sure my wife feels loved and knows she is the cause of his existence.

“Perhaps my mail circumvented this unique balance of nature in some way making me feel a little uncomfortable. So I called my son and told him to share the mail with his mother. Hope me and my son continue to maintain this delicate sensitive balance of power (emotion) in the coming years.”

With this one email, Srihari had jumped from being a mere ‘source’ of information to a human being with real emotions. It’s hard not to be stirred by a mail like this one, whether you’re a parent or not. His son showed him the moment. By displaying the courage to pour his heart out and share it with a bunch of people, Srihari let that moment linger in the universe a little longer.